Like Family
by Jemmasgiirl
Summary: What if Emma had a bigger family this whole time and just recently, their parents are gone, one is a dead beat and the other is just dead. Emma's trying to hold her siblings together(Baby Jack, KC, Drew, HollyJ), with help from Manny. Jay Hogart is also for some crazy reason trying to help, maybe because he's falling like crazy for Emma.. They were like one Big dysfuntional family.
1. On Our Own

Emma's point of view..

How should I even start? Everyone knows me as Cause girl, the goody two shoes.. or ravine girl, but I've actually put that nickname well into the ground, I've earned my very good reputation back! Anyways, ahem, I'm the one with the perfect grades and life. How little they knew my life wasn't actually perfect and I busted my ass off for my grades and rep.

Some people use to think I was the only child up til a few years ago. Before my mom fell for Snake, there was just me, her and Drew. Drew is my little brother, he is more than a few years younger than me.. guess you could of called him my real Dad's last chance at redemption with my mom.. but that didn't work out well huh..

. Incase you're wondering where my real dad, Shane, is.. he's in a mental home. If you remember, I ran away one day with Craig Mannings to go find him. Oh the old days.. Getting off track.. You also know my mom got married to another man and also my teacher and her old highschool friend Archie.

Archie is also called Snake. When he moved in so did his two kids, KC, and his older daughter Holly J.. who also had orange flaming hair like her fathers, but not KC, he was blonde. Holly J was just 2 years younger than me.. so when our familys got together everyone knew.

Than ofcourse, after my ex's disgusting stunt, Manny moved in with us because of her 'sex' tape. I'm happy she moved in though, she's been helping a lot! Usually it's just me.. specailly when Snake's cancer came back and he passed away from it.

That was almost two years ago.. his death was hard because naturally, it was _hard _losing a father, but also because it took my mother away from us too. Sure she's here now and then when she needs to sleep or get money.. but it didn't count. She wasn't herself anymore. Not the mother I use to go to when we were younger.. not the mother who would hug me as I cried.. and I knew that loss, so I do **everything** in my power to give that to Holly J, KC, Drew and Baby Jack, and Manny is along for the ride.

Boyfriends? you may ask... well, you remember the boy who once called me 'the nurse' and 'the babysitter'.. yeah, I'm datiing Sean again. It's our Junior year and things are tough..specailly when he found out I had a _thing_ with his best friend, Jay, you know..how I got my Ravine girl nickname a few years ago? But everythings fine again, normal.. as normal as it could ever be.

NO ONES POINT OF VIEW:

(Authors note : This is now season 6, in the middle)

"Time for school!" Emma hollared up the stairs in her pajamas. She sighed when she heard running around upstairs and turned to walk to the kitchen.

Manny was putting peanut butter on a bunch of pieces of bread and groaned, "My fingers are aching." she said

Emma went into the fridge and shrugged, "It's our normal routine." she simply said, bringing out apple juice boxes and setting them up into lunch pales

Manny's shoulders dropped. Snake died two years ago, right after Spike had Baby Jack.. she swore if that baby wasn't born, Holly J and KC would of left, but they stayed, it's what brought them together to realise they really were family now and they had a huge secret to keep.

Spike was never home, there really wasn't ever a parent, Emma was as good as it got.

"Ugh, peanut butter again?" Drew asked, disgusted as he leaned over Manny and cringed.

KC followed in after him and grabbed his brown paper bag and put his black hoody over his head. Before he took off the back door, Sean came inside and as he did so, took off KC's hoody.

"Trust me kid, I use to run that look, not so in anymore." he taunted him.

KC rolled his eyes but just nodded, taking his sweater off to a simple white shirt as Emma leaned on the kitchen counter giving him a look, "Soo..." she drifts.

"What?" he asked her.

Emma huffed, "How's grade 9 going? It's been only two months..you haven't really spoken about it." she urged him to talk.

He was never a talker...but after Snake he really stopped talking, it was only this year she saw him come around just a little bit more.

"Just dandy." he said in sarcasm going to leave, "the girl I like at school doesn't even notice me." he vanished out the door.

Emma's mouth hung as she even ignored Sean's arms as they wrapped around her. She gave Manny a look, "Who does he like?!"

Manny giggled and shrugged as Holly J skipped downstairs, Holly J heard what they were talking about and happily chimed in, "His little girl friend is Claire Edwards, you know, Darcy Edwards sister?"

Manny oh'd and Emma just nodded, Sean..who felt ignored once again from Emma, sighed and let go.

Emma watched Holly J go out the door, "Don't forget l-" she was answered with a door slam and nodded, right. Ofcourse, Holly J didn't 'take' lunches.

They heard a honk and Manny gasped grabbing her lunch.

"There's Darcy pickin me up, need a ride loser?" Manny asked Drew and then gasped, seeing him already eating his sandwhich, "That's suppose to be for lunch!"

"You're not my mom." Drew taunted with a smirk but grabbed his bag, happy to get ride.

As they walked out Manny passed Emma a look, "No one is."

Emma smiled sadly and listened to the door shut, then Sean's forehead leaned on the back of hers, taking a deep breath and sighed, "Finally, alone." he joked.

Then, came a baby cry

Emma sadly gave Sean a look who groaned and leaned his head back, watching Emma run up the stairs to go get Baby Jack.

"Ok, everyones at school, I have my project, and we just dropped Jack at day care." Emma said to Sean as he drove them to school, "I have everything right?" she asks him.

Sean just nodded.

Emma looked at him and then down, she got this vibe a lot. Actually she even got it from him in grade 9 when Snake FIRST got cancer and Sean called her a nurse.. she couldn't help it, s he knew she had a head on her shoulders and who else was suppose to take responsibilty?

If anyone found out Spike was actually mostly gone and didn't even take care of them? They'd be split apart.

Emma had one more year til she was 18!

When the car stopped they sat in the car and Sean turned his head to look at her, "We still on for _our _date tonight? No inturuptions."

"Ofcourse." Emma insisted, giving him a hopeful look but her gut felt bad..could it be because she hated promising things knowing the kids always needed her almost every second of the day?

Sean moved in and roughly kissed her, and leaned his hand up her thigh going to her-

"Sean." Emma said between the kiss and he tried to get between her legs until she stopped him, "Not now.. we're already late for school."

She sadly watched him take his hand off her and glare ahead, not even moving. She bit her lip, she really had to get to class to do her project presentation.

"Are you coming?" she whispered, looking down.

Wait, why was SHE always feeling bad?

"No." he bittered, waiting for her to get out.

Emma just slowly nodded, going to say sorry but shut her mouth. It only made him madder sometimes..

When she closed the door his red car shrieked out of the parking lot and sped away.

LUNCH TIME

"Emma it's a B!" Manny exclaimed, holding Emma's project paper as they walked into the Dot, Liberty and JT following after them.

Toby sat at their table and waved them down.

Emma grumbled, "It should of been an A"

"Oh Emma." Jt sighed, "The rest of us wish for a B, be grateful."

Liberty shook her head, "She's right though, I know those methods and what you presented Emma was a fine project. was way harsh on you."

Emma fell into her seat while scoffing, "It's because I'm always late, isn't it?" she looked around at them

They all tried not to look at her because it probably was, but as IF that's her fault!

"I'm going to get some coffee." Emma sighed helpessly and got up, walking over to the counter.

Spinner turned and smiled, "Ah, Emma Nelson."

"Spinner Gavin." Emma said in a mono tone, "can I just get a coffee?"

He nodded and as he took another persons order another figure leaned next to her, "Hey! Spin!" called that too familiar voice, "Grab me a muffin and chocolate milk."

Emma tried not to look at him but already knew he must of known he stood right beside her, leaning on the Dot's counter.

"Greenpeace." his greeted even SOUNDED like he was smirking, and as Emma turned her head to look at him, he was.

"Didn't Sean tell you to _stop_ calling me that?" Emma taunted, raising an eyebrow. She barely saw Jay around well because she was never really out anymore, and he didn't go to Degrassi anymore either.

Word from Sean is that he worked at the same Auto Shop as him and even got him a job. But Emma knew Jay well, it was her closest enemy ofcourse! He was still evil! He had to be, it was in his blood!

"Sean can't tell me what to do Gp." Jay said in a tone as if reminding her as he smirked again at her.

Emma rolled her eyes, "Whatever, do what you will, do I ever care?" she taunted

"I think you do sometimes." Jay insisted, "come on, who else do you lean on to ruin your day?" he softly chuckled at her glare of daggers.

"Trust me, it's not you anymore." Emma declared, grabbing her coffee from Spinner and going back to her friends until Jay blocked her.

"what? Is it that brady bunch family of yours?" Jay asked her and sounded hurt, "I'm going to miss being your lowlight of the day." he went on to ask, "How is pretending to be Mama bear to everyone?

Emma turned and eyed him as he raised an eyebrow and her mouth dropped, Sean! That fucking bastard! He was telling Jay WAY too much.

"Next time tell Sean I said this isn't any of _your _buisness, or **his **to be telling people." she reached her table and sat.

"Did you get me a donut?!" JT asked happily and lifted his hands in defense when she madly looked at him to not start.

Emma closed her eyes when she heard a chair pull up next to her, Jay dragged it over and sat on it from behind.

He leaned his arms on the chair and gave Emma a look, "It hurts you don't want to be friends anymore Greenpeace."

"We weren't ever friends _Jayson_." Emma gritted her teeth as she spoke, cornering her eyes at him. God, why was she EVER attracted to him ? I mean yes, he had a good lean body, killer eyes, a smirk to die for .. but the way he drove her mad? UGH!

"Em." came a voice and the table looked up at Drew, he dug his hands into his leather jacket, "I shouldn't of ate my lunch at breakfest."

"No you shouldn't of." Manny insisted happily, being the one who DID warn him.

Drew gave her a look and pouted to Emma who looked kind of down, she wished she could help him out but..money was running SO low. Her and Manny both did part time jobs and she was TRYING to pick up as much night jobs as she could but..

Jay suddenly dug into his pocket and threw some bills on the table, "Go wild." he told Drew.

"Sick!" Drew went to grab it but Emma did first.

"You're not a charity case." Emma snapped, giving Drew a look. And from all people, they did not take it from Jay Hogart.

For some reason Drew loved when Sean came over and brought Jay, it pissed her off they got along. It was bad enough KC was just like a younger Sean.. now Drew was going to take lessons from Jay Hogart himself?

Drew frowned deeply, and looked away as Jay looked between them and then clenched his jaw looking down.. everyone was staring at Emma.

Emma felt it and then felt.. embarressed. She quickly pushed the money into Drew's hand as she got up and then walked out.

Manny tried to smile at Jt, Liberty and Toby to get the awkward situation by.


	2. Put An End To All Our Doubt

_**(Pink-family potrait)  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally  
**_

Emma laid in her bed that night, going through the scene from earlier that day.. maybe she shouldn't of been so rude, I mean.. Jay probably knew what it was like to run low on cash but still, felt .. wrong.

There was a knock on the door and Emma looked over, Holly J came in

"Hey." Emma said, sitting up, and Holly J extended her hand and dropped a check into Emma's hand.

Holly J explained, "I'm picking up shifts at the DOT. Spinner gave me a job."

Emma's heart cracked and she was in awe that Holly J actually did this, "This..helps so much Holly J but.." she looked up at the red head who crossed her arms and shrugged, trying to keep that rep of hers.

"Not a biggie."

"It is." Emma informed and went to open her mouth until another knock on the door cut them off. Emma sighed, her and Holly J were JUST bonding... it didn't happen alot. Holly J was always at cheerleading or parties..but then again, that's what Emma wanted her to have. A somewhat normal life.

"Hey." Sean greeted, coming in.

Holly J just nodded at Emma and turned, leaving up the stairs.

"Hi." Emma finally greeted Sean, a bit of tension between the two still. He could just never understand family was first.

But..he would do what he did best, come inside after a fight, give that puppy look, and she'd just forgive him.

He stayed over, and yes they made out a bit, but not sex.. not that they haven't they have once or twice but Emma knew they lacked a lot of it just sometimes..she wasn't into it.

Emma was up as he passed out beside her and she curled into her covers, staring at a picture on her night stand.. it was of her and her mom, at Snake's wedding. Her mother was beautiful that day. Emma and her hair? Not so much.. Emma smiled softly, but still a day to remember.

Where is Spike now you ask? Who knew. Bar? Caitlins condo in New York? She would come by once every few months.. but not lately has she.

Emma bit her lip and felt the sore throat coming to end as she finally let herself silently cry, and Sean never woke up or even heard that she was.. he never did.

_**In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)  
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that  
(I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do  
anything)**_

That weekend they had a barbeque at her place in the backyard since Manny was excited Craig was coming home.

He laughed with Sean, over by the barbeque cooking burgers, and Emma woke a black bikini as did Manny as they sat on her patio table. Manny laughed holding Baby Jack as he tried to say burger.

"Booger." Jack said. Jack was now coming near the age of 3.

"Burger Jack." Emma corrected, shaking her head and smiling.

Manny laughed, "Hey! If he wants to eat a booger, let him! Hes still young." the two laughed and Emma looked around.

Holly J was in the water with Drew and one of their friends they invited over, Anya? And KC was listening to his headphones on a beach chair.

Emma sighed, guess it was as good as it got.. She then heard a engine roar into her driveway and drive up to the back, that famous orange honda civic.

Jay and Spinner.

The two got out and Spinner happily cheered, "I brought the beer!" he confirmed.

"hey, throw me one." Drew asked, putting his hands out from the pool and Jay ripped one can off from Spinner's pack of beer and pretended to throw one to open it himself and chug.

Emma rolled her eyes, charming. But also good, she really thought Jay was going to give Drew one for a minute there..

"Aww." Drew madly sighed and went back to splashing Holly J and Anya in the pool.

"Hey man." nodded Spinner at Craig who nodded back, Craig saw Jay though and just went back to watching Sean flips burgers.

Even Manny and Emma saw that over by the table, "I don't get it." admits Manny watching her boyfriend ignore Jay, which didn't even seem to bug Jay since he was still life of the party as he showed Sean how to properly flip the burgers before they burnt, "Craig forgives Spin for the shooting but not Jay?"

"Who cares.." Emma drifts, "It was years ago." she didn't really like talking about it.

Manny gave her a sorry look, "just feel its mean."

"Jay's mean too." shrugged Emma jokingly, "Karma sucks."

"Jay's..attractive mean though." Manny said, and Emma saw it, those eyes wonder to the Hogart and checked him out.

Emma wanted to shake Manny's shoulders, "You just called Jay attractive." she said, incase she didn't know how obvious she was being.

Manny raised an eyebrow at her, "Don't tell me you go down on guys who _aren't attracti-_"

"Can you SWITCH the topic we are speaking about?" Emma gave her a look like she had three heads and looked to see if Jay had heard, thankfully not. Emma felt herself even getting warmer, blush rising to her cheeks.

It wasn't just BLOW JOBS with Jay Hogart back in the day like people thought.. at least Emma and Jay actually TALKED before and after they fooled around and if Jay could wear sex bracelettes too, he would be wearing a green one as well because he also went down on her- OKAY, WHY are we talking about this?

Emma tried to push it from her brain, "Pass me Jack Attack." she informed Manny who smirked and passed Jack on over onto Emma's lap.

As Emma held onto Jack she tilted her head curiously watching KC just sitting by himself, listening to music.

A figure came over and sat next to her, "It'll pass." they said.

Emma turned to Jay and gave him a look, "What? Being a lonely crushed parentless teenager?" she eyed him as if he wouldn't know what that felt like

"Yeah." Jay seriously and bluntly said.

Emma opened her mouth but shut it and eyed Jay closer until Manny coughed, getting up .She felt the tension.. always did.

"You guys want a beer?" Manny asked, they both shook their heads no.

Emma held onto Jack who swatted his hands on his legs boredly and stared up at Jay with wide eyes.

"Booger." Jack simply stated loudly.

Jay snickered, sipping the beer in his hand as Emma leaned down holding Jack's hands in hers now.

"that's right!" she cheered Jack on, "Jay's a booger."

"Laugh it up.' taunted Jay but grinned himself to then stop when Jack held his arms out to him, wanting him to hold him.

"Make me a booger!" Jack pleaded Jay.

"fine." Jay said, rolling his eyes, as if it was such inconvenience. Emma was just shocked he said yes and got even more shocked when Jack crawled and jumped off of her, following Jay to the food.

Emma smirked a bit seeing how tiny was compared to Jay with his little feet and legs, probably just made it to Jay's knee.. and Jack happily leaned on Jay's knee when Jay made him a burger, cut up ofcourse.

Emma's heart skipped to then look away, what the hell was she doing?

"Hey baby." Sean greeted, jumping in beside her and kissed her cheek.

Emma turned and stared at him, ready to eat his burger until she put her hand on his wrist, stopping him. She leaned in and kissed him hard.

Over by the grass, Jay set Jack's plate on a blanket that Manny' put out for the ones who wanted a picnic sort of thing. She sat with Spinner and Craig and Jay stayed standing up while sipping his beer as he heard Manny oh'ing.

"Nothing like PDA." joked Manny, gawking Emma and Sean making out by the back door on the patio table.

Jay gulped his beer down harder than usual and then went back to watching Jack trying to eat a full burger that wasn't his. What! He hated being the 'baby' who cut his food always cut up.

"Hey!" Spinner snapped, snatching his burger back from Jack who tried to take a big bite.

Even KC laughed sitting a few feet away.

See? Some days were good.. less tough then others.

_**(Someday- Rob Thomas)**_

_**And maybe someday  
We'll figure all this out  
Try to put an end to all our doubt  
Try to find a way to make things better now and  
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud  
We'll be better off somehow  
Someday**_


	3. Been Here Many Times Before

"Come on, Em." begged Sean, his hands up Emma's shirt and kissing around her neck.

Emma moaned but then groaned, "Sean, Jack's in the other room.. he could hear."

"Didn't stop us two months ago." he breathed hotly in her ear, pressing his hips into hers and she felt how hard he was.

She bit her lip, she just wasn't into it, but soon enough, she was whimpering as he guided into her. He was a bit rough, but still pleasurable but cared more of himself than her and came pretty fast.

He collapsed on her breathing hard and rolled beside her, bringing her into his arms, trying to catch their breath.

Emma put her hair behind her ear as she felt his breath go at ease and slight snoring, and as always, she barely slept.

When Emma did wake though, he was gone. Emma then gasped and woke up quick, jumping right out of bed and just putting on one of his shirts that almost went to her knees.

"Guys get up!" Emma pounded on the boys' door then Holly J's before running into Baby Jack's room, "Shit." she noticed he was gone and turned around, panicked, "Shit, SHIT!" she cursed running downstairs.

OH THANK GOD!

Jack sat infront of the tv, clapping his chubby hands to The Wiggles, and eating crackers that were everywhere around him.

Emma bent and picked some up, "Not so much or you'll puke." she said and looked at the clock.

9:00. GREAT! Highschool already started and an hour late.

"Fucking Sean." muttered Emma, running to the kitchen to prepare meals.

"Hey!" Called a voice, coming in from the front door. Emma rolled her eyes, ofcourse Sean didn't lock the front door either.

She leaned forward and saw Jay coming in, tossing his car keys.

"Sean's not here." she muttered, slapping pieces of bread down on the table.

Jay watched her impressed, "I know, he asked me to give you guys lift to school." he looked around the house, he wasn't inside alot.

You could tell a lot of kids lived here but Emma was still keeping it in shape.

"Too bad he didn't ask you to wake us up in time." she madly said, getting out the peanut butter.

"Emma!" called Manny from upstairs, "can I borrow your blue jeans?"

Emma stopped to think for Jay to then realise Emma didn't even have pants on and smirked, looking to the far right with a guilty look.

"Fine!" Emma hollared back and went back to making lunch to see Jay's stare off look, "What's wrong with you?"

"You're in nothing but a tshirt." he reminded and Emma's eyes went wide.

OH GOD!

She dropped the butter knife and ran to the basement door but groaned, "can you just...FINISH THAT!" she begged and ran down.

He laughed but went over and picked up the knife. Not that he minded a half naked Emma infront of him...he just didn't feel like getting into another fist fight with Sean.

Damn those long tanned legs of hers..

It took 20 more minutes for Emma ran back up wearing her red lace t-shirt and black mini skirt with tall black flat boots. Make up on, showered and ready.

"Ok." she breathed, out of breath and looking around seeing Jay leaning on the kitchen counter and looking up at her boredly. "Where is everyone?!" she freaked.

"Gone." he shrugged simply.

Emma raised an eyebrow, "Just, gone?" she didn't believe it, she looked around... lunches _were _gone. "Did you kill them?" she taunted.

He snickered while leaning off the kitchen counter and standing infront of her, "Yes." he declared, giving her a stern look.

Emma rolled her eyes but smiled, "Good." she joked and leaned on the wall tiredly.

Jay eyed her closer, most people would say looking at her life and looking at her was...sad. He saw it as strong, and beautiful..and Jay Hogart never said that word.

But it took more than balls to do what she did.

"Come on." he directed and led out her. Emma gave a wierd look and turned to him. he stopped walking and looked at her like she was dumb, "Come on girl." he teased, whistling and snapping his fingers as if calling a dog.

Emma groaned but dragged her legs walking after him and shoved him playfully as she passed.

He drove her to school and the two sat in the parking lot when he pulled up. Emma was actually pretty thankful for his help.

"Thanks." she said honestly.

He turned his head a bit shocked and put a finger by his ear, "I'm sorry what was that?"

Emma unbuckled her seatbelt laughing, "Don't push it." she warned and got out. As she walked over to school, his car had to pass her on the way out, but he also slowed down and pulled his window down.

"Just say it one more time!" he hollared out the window.

Emma laughed looking over her shoulder, "Thankyou!" she exclaimed and happily skipped up the stairs.

As she was still smiling and turning her combination in her locker she stopped.

What was she doing?

She whiped the smile from her face and mentally kicked herself. Your not some school girl with a crush.. besides! We know Jay is bad news.

Emma turned to run to class to bump into KC who looked a bit shocked to see her.

"KC?" Emma asked and eyed him, he didn't have a school pass, "a-are you skipping?"

"For the thousand time, your not my mother." he snapped and went to walk off but Emma grabbed his arm.

"KC We're all you have!" she exclaimed and shook her head at him, "don't let our parents mess up your life."

"I'll do what I want with my own life." he yanked his arm back and stormed off, an empty expression over his face.

Emma leaned on a locker hopelessly and closed her eyes, sadly glancing the way KC left.

"Can you just talk to him?" Emma begged Sean, the next night as they sat on the porch.

Sean sighed, sitting on the porch steps as she paced back and forth going over the KC situation.

"You guys were just so alike." Emma explained "And I-"

"If the kid doesn't want to go, you can't force him." Sean told her.

Emma looked at him like he was crazy, "Sean how can you say-"

"If he's like me? That's just how we're built." he told Emma and got up, "You can't make him do anything he doesn't want to."

Emma shook her head, "He's going to mess up his schooling.. and you think that's not worth atleast trying to talk to him?"

Sean rubbed his forehead and chuckled a bit bitterly, "I can't do this tonight."

"Do what?" Emma called after him when he went to storm off and he whirled around madly.

"Play Dad." he barked.

Emma swallowed hard, and her heart felt stabbed. How could he say those things to her again?

"I want a night like the old times. Just me and my girl friend... that's you." Sean told her, "Not Mama Bear." he taunted.

Emma started to feel the tears threatening their way out, and they dropped when she heard Baby Jack crying for her from inside.

"what's it gonna be?" Sean asked Emma, hearing Jack crying, "Me or.." he nodded back to the house.

How could he ask that?

Emma whiped her tears and stayed strong, sucking in and letting out a shakey breath and shrugged, "The baby, Sean." she confirmed, "It's the baby."

Baby Jack needed her way more than a baby whining Sean.

So much for being a man. Emma watched him storm off and went inside as well, slamming the door behind her.

Sean got on his motorcycle and slammed on his helmet as he glanced once more at the house before seeing Drew sitting on the roof. He must of heard the whole conversation and he just glared at Sean before standing and crawling back into his window.

He sighed and started his bike, driving off.

It was late, so when Emma got Jack back to sleep she quietly snuck to the front door to lock it and then let the situation wash over her.

Emma leaned back on the door and slid down it, silently letting her cry out and tears pouring as she pulled her knees up and sat against her door. She shook and put her head down on her knees.

This wasn't the life she wanted nor expected.. but these kids needed her. She wouldn't leave them like Shane left her, or Spike, or- Emma jumped and looked teary eyed at the person who just put their hand on her shoulder.

Holly J.

Emma softly bared a smile, trying to keep it together but then she cracked and looked down, crying again.

Holly J sat down next to her and put an arm around her, Emma leaned her head on her shoulder and shook some more as her step-no, as her sister hugged her.

_**Help, I have done it again  
I have been here many times before  
Hurt myself again today  
And the worst part is there's no one else to blame**_

Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small and needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me

(Breath me-Sia-)


	4. Man Enough

"Are you shocked?" Manny asked.

Silence.

"No." came Emma's reply.

"Are you still together?" Manny asked.

Emma shrugged, they sat in the backyard tanning by the pool, "I don't know.." she admitted.

Guess that's where her and Sean's relationship had actually come to...getting into fights as if it were normal and never knowing if it was a real fight or not.

Emma was so..done with it.

Manny sighed, "Hurricane Sean." she knew she nicknamed him that for a **reason**. Maybe she shouldn't of pushed Emma back into Sean's arms.. it's just, she hated Peter so much!

"Yup." Emma nodded. Understanding.

Manny looked at her cellphone, "Ugh, I got to go to work." it was her shift tonight.

Emma looked over and nodded, softly waving and watching her best friend go. Sometimes she was so greatful for Manny!

Emma walked back into her house a few minutes later, as she walked in she noticed Drew in the kitchen and went to open her mouth to stop.

He was just standing there, bluntly looking at a picture of when it was just her, Spike and him. Emma softened and then looked away, trying to pretend she just got there.

"Want something to eat?" she asked and went to the fridge, opening it.

Drew jumped and turned but was reliefed she didn't see what he was up to.. or so he thought. He coughed awkwardly and answered, "Grill cheese?"

She looked over her shoulder to him with a smile, ofcourse. No crust.. like always

She sat plates just for just him and her, thankful Jack was at day care and Kc and Holly J, whereever they were.

As they ate Emma noticed she didn't have an appetite.

"No, don't let him do that to you." growled Drew.

Emma looked at her little brother, who sometimes seemed so much wiser

"Do what?" she then asked, confused.

"Not eat." Drew explained and shook his head, "You know how bad it was last time."

"I'm not.." Emma swallowed hard, remembering Spike by her side during this time, "Anorexic.." she dazed off, letting a memory flash over her.

_"Baby, you can't do this anymore." Spike cried to Emma who laid in a hospital bed because of not eating for weeks._

_Manny was on the other side who nodded, tears streaming down. Spike hadn't let Drew come, it would scare him too much, just family intervention with everyone was enough for his young eyes_

Emma snapped out of it and immediately took a bite again She would not be that girl again..weak. No. She was so much stronger now.

When she was done she eyed Drew again, "you don't have to worry about me."

"someone has to." he replied quickly.

Emma looked away and then shook her head, "Well not you."

"Then who?" Drew asked and snickered, "Sean?"

"Why can't you just get along with him." Emma seemed sick and tired when she asked that.

Drew shrugged, "I could if he wasn't with you, treating you like your nothing." he eyed her, "Are you even in love with him?"

"DREW!"

"Are you?!"

Emma stared at him then softned, "when did you suddenly grow up?" she teased.

Drew stood up, "I didn't." he cracked a smile, "you won't let me."

"Maturing too fast can have bad effects." Emma spoke with experience.

He sadly looked at her get lost into thought and went around her, kissing the top of her head and leaving.

Emma was a bit shocked by the gester, I mean, Drew was always by her side but never one to hug let alone give a caring kiss like that.

She smiled a bit and looked to where he left. hopefully she'll help raise him up into the good guy he was showing he was.

The phone started to ring and Emma went over to it.

Emma: Hello?

Holly J: It's me, I'm just going to stay over at Anya's tonight.

Emma: Yah,that's fine.

Holly J: Just felt I should let you know

Emma smiled softly.

Emma: have a good night..see you tomorrow.

Holly J: Night!

Emma hung up and leaned on the wall tiredly. Maybe for once she'll have a quiet night. That would be nice.

"Where were you?" Drew asked KC when the boy jumped into their bedroom window, sneaking in.

It was almost midnight, "None of your buisness." KC sneered back.

"Good one, Einstien." snickered Drew sitting on his bed, he then got off, "No. You know what? Grow up." he said.

"Excuse me?!" barked KC, turning around to him.

Drew stood nose to nose with him, "You heard me, stop feeling sorry and looking for pity." he snapped.

From downstairs, Emma heard some of this and curiously walked upstairs.

"I'm not looking for anything! Specailly from a brat like you." KC shoved by him as Emma walked in and saw this.

"Me? A brat?" Drew laughed at KC, went to walk away but turned and hit him.

"DREW!" Emma yelled, trying to jump in the middle at KC grabbed Drew back and swung a punch, "Guys stop!" Emma pleaded, trying to come between, she didn't know which one did it but she was pushed back and fell hard onto something on the ground.

She crawled up and ran out of her room, her back sore, and grabbed her phone.

SEAN'S AUTO SHOP.

Sean was working on their last car for the night as him and Jay were closing with their boss Tony. The phone was ringing.

"Tony's Repair." Tony spoke into the phone and paused before looking to Sean, "Hey Cameron!"

Sean looked up from the car both he and Jay worked on, "Yeah?"

"Seems like an emergency." Tony waved the phone, "It's your girl friend."

Jay looked at Tony and then to Sean, who just stood there, staring at the phone, "You gonna get it?" Jay asked Sean, how can the guy just stand there like an idiot.

Sean then looked away and shook his head no, going back to work but hardly focusing.

Jay gave Sean an insane look and back to Tony who spoke back to Emma, "Sorry blondie, he just left-" Tony was cut off when Jay grabbed the phone.

"What's up?"

"Jay?" Emma instantly knew his voice "T-they are fighting and I-I don't want to call the police but their out of control, I tried to break it up but-"

"I'll be there soon. Don't go near them" he hung up and grabbed his car keys from the counter. He stormed passed Cameron and muttered, "Asshole." before getting into his civic and storming off.

KC's nose was now bleeding and Drew was on top of him, his knuckles swollen until KC finally punched Drew and threw him off him.

"You don't know what it's like having a dead father!" yelled KC, "And a dead mother!"

Drew spat blood from where KC hit him, "My mother could be DEAD for all I know KC. Stop being so damn selfish, there are other people in this house too! Y-you think Jack should be this much of a prick when he grows up and realises Emma ISN'T our mom? And his Dad's dead too"

KC looked away. No, he didn't want that.

Now Kc was horrible at talking, so he walked passed Drew to leave but couldn't help but let the anger wash over him again, pushing Drew into the wall.

Drew went to fight back but suddenly KC was ripped off of him and Drew went to go after KC but the figure held him back too with just an elbow pressed against his chest.

KC went to charge at Drew again for the same figure to just collar lock his shirt and hold him still.

"You two feel like big boys now?" Jay growled between them, glaring at both.

They both caught their breaths but still glared at another.

"You're **both** going through shit." Jay snapped at Drew and turned to KC, "It's NOT a contest."

They both avoided anothers eyes now.

"Next time you get in a fight, I'll jump in and we can see whose asses get truly beat." he taunted, not telling the truth, but enough to scare the two boys.

Silence.

At least now they looked a bit sorry."

"You usually get into fights and make your sister try to break it up?" Jay asked them, eyeing them down disgusted, now they looked truly sorry, "Neither of you are better than the other and neither of you are grown up to really know anything." he let go of them and warned, "So stop with the bullshit."

KC and Drew looked at another, muttering sorry's.

Meanwhile, Emma was down in her room as she sat on the edge of her bed and she lifted her tank top a bit, trying to put a corn bag on her back. Must of falling on a box on her way down or a toy.

She hissed but let it sit there as she leaned forward, lost in thought.

She jumped when she felt a warm hand go on her shoulder and looked over her shoulder as Jay took his other hand to hold the corn bag instead of her.

"I got it." he told her in all seriousness. His voice so serious but husky.

She should of said no, she knew she should of, but for some reason she let him, She leaned her elbows on her knees and stayed leaning forward, closing her eyes as she ran her hands through her hair.

She bit her lower lip feeling his hand that was on her shoulder, trail his fingers down her back and helped his other hand hold the cold bag.

She swallowed hard before her voice cracked, "Are they okay?"

"Mhm.." was all he said back and she wondered why he was so quiet. God she wished his fingers would stop trailing around her bare back.. it was going to make her shiver, her breath was getting so unsteady.

Emma didn't know why she was so comfortable with Jay.. guess it was like she said, he was her closest enemy, which meant he knew her every flaw, yet he stayed around, which made him an amazing friend.. but she'd never admit that part because they've never been friends..least only just friends.

She laid down and he swallowed hard, taking the bag off of her and took off his head, running a hand through it as she just laid, her back to him.

"He was there, wasn't he?" Emma asked so sadly it even made his gut hurt.

Wait, why'd HE care?

Lie.

"Yeah.." fuck. Jay cursed at himself.

Emma knew it though, she knew Sean was there and just ignored them.. in a situation like this? Who needed him anyways! Coward.

"I'm gonna go.." Jay drifts, suddenly feeling a wierd emotion coming over him and got up.

Emma turned and looked at him, laying down still though and nodded against her pillows, sadly watching him nod back at her and turn, leaving.

Emma curled into a ball and just wished he had stayed.

But maybe that's just because she needed someone, not specifically him. Yeah, that's it.. I mean, she couldn't just want him only right?


	5. I've got More Wit, A Better Kiss

"Emma." a hand waved infront of her and she blinked out of it.

She looked up and blinked in shock that it was KC, he sat down next to her on the porch, it was around 5am, she just couldn't sleep.

Sun was slowly starting to appear.

"Hey." she softly greets.

He sat there, glaring at the ground, and Emma prepared herself for another argument..

"I'm sorry." KC cracked and tears ran down his face as he put his face into his hands and cried, "I'm a such a screw up."

Emma brought him into her arms and he laid his head on her lap, crying, letting it all out.

Emma ran her fingers through his getting long hair. She remembered KC being great in school, a kid with such a bright smile..reminded her of herself.. but now he was cold. He was real smart too.. she just wanted him back.

"It'll be okay..we'll be okay KC." Emma told him, like he should know by now.. and he nodded against her lap.

They went back inside and he went to bed, Emma had a few hours of sleep until she woke up at 8am and went up the stairs.

She went to go to the kitchen to pause and glance back at the couch in the living room..seeing a figure. The lights were still out so Emma put it on.

Spike.

On the coffee table was the pills she use to always take.. Emma remembered them like yesterday..

_It had been a few weeks after Snake had died, and Spike would do nothing but lay in bed or lay on the couch, a numb lost look in her eye._

_"Mom, I brought you some tea.." a younger Emma stood holding a mug. Spike didn't move._

_She didn't move from her bed even days after, when Emma slowly peeked in and came to the side of her bed, bending down._

_"Want me to call the doctor again?" Emma asked her, glancing at her night table to all the depressent pills she was taking._

_Spike just stared forward almost lifelessly but Emma looked hopeful when her eyes moved right at Emma's, for her heart to stop. It's like Spike was looking right through her._

_Emma let a tear slip watching Spike look away again and dully back to staring across the room._

_As a month went by, if Spike wasn't in bed, she was at the bar. She'd miss family dinners and miss the kids' teacher and parents nights. She even missed Emma's play, and Drews first highschool football game, Hollly J's cheerleading competition, KC's spelling Bee...and she even missed when Jack first walked._

_Then as months went on, she'd vanish. She showed up once with Caitlin before, pretending all was good and she was a great mother, even prepared them a big dinner..but it didn't last long, when Caitlin left it took Spike two days before she was back in bed 24/7._

Emma tried to wash those memories from her head as she looked at her mother passed out on the couch

"So mom's home again?" she heard and turned seeing Drew on the stairs, elbows leaning on his knees and glaring at his mom, but she saw those eyes soften..he always had faith in their mother deep down.

"Just leave her be." Emma said, slowly shrugging, what else was there to do? She wrapped her arms around herself and slowly walked away.

Outside, Holly J was painting her toe nails on the porch later that day when Spinner, Sean and Jay came over from the orange civic.

"Holly J." Sean said, nodding towards her, "Where's Emma?"

"Inside." Holly J answered without glancing up and touching up her big toe.

"Nice shade." Spinner said with lots of sarcasm and Holly J smirked, glancing up

Sean went to go in and Holly J warned, "I wouldn't go in there." she went back to painting her toe.

Sean looked at her then to Jay, wondering what that could mean. Jay had no idea.

"Spike's home." Holly J muttered, her face emotionless.

Jay looked back at Sean who looked shocked, and even backed away from the door.

Who was Spike? Jay STILL had no idea what was going on.

The door suddenly creeped open, barely, showing a very dark house inside.. Emma usually never let that happen, always bright and sunny in there.

Bad to old times I guess.

"Whose there?" came Spike's raspyish voice as she tried to cough it off.

Sean looked her over, still looked exhausted as always, yet had more sleep than anyone. Spinner eyed her too, she'd be a good lookin milf if she just showered, changed her clothes and brushed her hair.

Jay took a look as she even looked right at him, questionably,, wondering who the hell he was.

"Me, Mrs.S... Sean." Sean told her.

"Where's Emma?" spike just went on as if he didn't speak, glancing down to Holly J while rubbing her hand down her face.

Holly J slowly stopped painting her nails.. Spike use to be such a mother figure... it broke her heart seeing her like this.

"Out at the library remember?" Holly J softly asked, looking to Spike who looked in a daze.

"Right" she looked back to the figure infront of the door, "Bye Shane." she shut the door.

"Sean.." corrected Sean, staring off. She called him Shane another time before too. Emma never knew if she had her real dad on her mind or not when she did, or she was that lost she couldn't remember a name

When Emma came home it was around 6pm and she quietly shut the door behind her. She turned to notice Spike not on the couch.

She slowly creeked Holly J's room door open to see Spike lying in her bed, still thiking it was HER room, she slowly shut the door.

Emma came down to push the blinds open, letting the light come in. She hated when Spike tried to keep the house dark.

When she walked into the kitchen she saw all the kids already in there, staring at her with hopeful eyes.

"So Spike's home again?" Kc asked her, and looked around, "That'sgood right?"

Emma wanted to yell at them, to yell that it was never good when Spike came home, why couldn't they just accept that? but she'd keep her mouth shut..

as Always.

"Who wants dinner?" Emma went to the stove.

A day later Emma stood in the kitchen as Jay came in from the back.

"Come on in" Emma sarcactically said. He was getting pretty comfy in her house.

Jay just smirked like a smart ass and looked around, "Your uh.. mom still here?"

Emma's mouth fell. Jay knew about her mom? Jay SAW her mom? She looked away painfully, but noticed she had to answer.

"yeah."

Jay nodded slowly, watching the pain cross her face.

He tried to change the subject and said, "I was with Sean here the other day." he explained and didn't look her in the eye, "He was coming to beg for forgiveness again."

Jay didn't get it, why Sean was forgiven so easily sometimes. Jay might be a smart ass and bullied in his day, but Sean was always making the wrong choices, and still thought it was okay to take his anger out on people.. how come people always thought Sean was better than Jay?

Jay eyed Emma... why did _she _think Sean was better than him? Cause he cries easier? Jay could cry if he really needed to!.. He bitterly thought.

Emma decided not to go on with that conversation. She was so exhausted to what Sean did to her.. he never made her happy.

Drew's words stung her the other day... was she in love with him? No.

Emma looked up and snuck a glance at Jay who dug his hands into his jean pockets, looking around and then his eyes fell on a bunch of pill bottles.

Emma never felt so embarressed in her life.

Jay picked one up slowly, "Prozac?.." he drifted off.

Emma waited for it, the judgement, the pity..

"My mom was into that." he simply re called and put it down, looking at her like nothing happened.

Emma softly smiled, crossing her arms, "What **is **her family like?" she was so curious.

Jay sat on one of the kitchen chairs and chuckled, "Wouldn't you like to know, greenpeace."

Emma smiled a bit more, sitting across from him and nodded, "I would." she admitted. What made Jay look so independent ? So strong? Why did he always stick out to her?

She'd never admit it because Sean would kill her, but Jay definatly had it more together than even Sean himself.. probably even more than her too, which she'd hate to admit outloud too.

"My family is.." Jay drifted off, wondering if he should just make up a story like usual until his wondering eyes landed on Emma, into her eyes.

Her eyes were So caring, so brown.. with a sprinkle of green.

He smirked softly, "My family is a mess." he declared and looked away from her, "We were rich, til all the money was found out to be frod, and my dad was put in jail..Me and my mom moved, and yes, I **was** actually trailer trash until I moved out and into my own apartment..but that took years, didn't wana leave my mom." he muttered.

Emma's heart cracked, she knew what that was like.

"Sorry." muttered Emma, maybe she shouldn't of asked.. She stood up as did he as they faced another and she played with her hands.

They connected eyes and he just shrugged but stared back at her, he had to admit it, "You're better off without Sean, for a welfare kid..he's not very helpful on the family situation."

Emma was stunned to actually hear that and she glared at Jay, "You don't know anything about our relationship." she didn't know why she fought him, he was right. "Or relationships in general with your record." why was she being so mean?

Maybe she was just so use to fighting with him and not agreeing with him, or maybe it was because she got a hint of jealousy. Jay had no right to be jealous, he had a chance with her before and it didn't happen!

Jay cornered his eyes at her, "I haven't cheated since two years ago, Emma." and that was with her, behind Alex's back. He never hooked up with Amy, despite the rumors.

"Well aren't you changed noble man now." Emma taunted, her firey eyes glaring up into his.

He just snickered as he heard the back door open, "Hey...guys." Manny greeted, seeing Jay there too and how intense it looked between the two.

"Later." was all Jay said, sending Emma one more look before shaking his head and leaving.

Manny shut the door behind him and asked, "what was that about?"

"Nothing." Emma sat down madly her breath still shakey. Why did Jay always do that to her?

"Didn't seem like nothing.." she drifts, looking back to where Jay left. He actually wasn't a bad guy, I mean before during the hook up with Emma, it was just too unhealthy for them to be together then.. but they were older now. she eyed Emma, "are you..." she was careful with her words, "into Jay again?"

"No!" Emma barked and snickered bitterly to then stare down at her hands. She scoffed and got up, walking off.

"you guys still fucking?" bluntly asked Spinner, having shots at the bar with him and Jay, Spinner wasn't 19 yet but Jay got him in, he use to date one of the bartender girls.

Jay clenched his jaw, not wanting to hear the answer.

"Yeah." Sean answered to then snicker, "But barely. Always about the kids, or her mom or.." Sean drifted off and Jay raised an eyebrow.. he probably noticed howstupid he was sounding.

"So is..is she like, good in bed?" smirked Spinner leaning forward as if telling a secret, "I heard the goody girls always were."

Jay dug into his pocket and lit a cigerette, and tried to focus on a football game playing on a huge screen by them.

"Shots?" asked a bartender coming over.

Sean shook his head, still working on his beer, Spinner too... Jay as well but he lifted three fingers, "Whiskey please."

Clearly this conversation wasn't to his liking.

"She's good." Smirked Sean, shaking his head with a sheepish smile as Spinner laughed, "She's knows how to.."

Jay got lost into thought remembering two years ago..

_Jay banged Emma up against the wall of the ravine van, and she moaned into his mouth as her hands wondered down his pants. He pulled away and his mouth fell as she stroked his hardness. He tried to tend to her as much as she did him, kissing around her neck and running his fingers through her hair "Oh fuuuck Emma." he breathed shakingly, nuzzeling his nose into her neck and leaning his forehead on her shoulder. _

Jay blinked, yelling at his mind to stop. God why couldn't he ever forget the way she felt or made him feel?

"and when she .. goes down?" Sean was still in a conversation with Spin about it and Jay grabbed the shots the bartender gave him, taking them each in a row and shut his eyes tight.. remembering again.

_"Shiiiit, christ." Jay begged, as Emma went down on him, his fingers carressing her hair._

"Can we talk about something else?" barked Jay finaly, snapping out of it.

Sean gave him a wierd look as did Spinner, "When do you not ever want to talk about it?" he joked.

Not about Emma. He didn't want to know that.

Sean shook his head at him and went on, "But she doesn't let me.." he coughed awkwardly, "I mean I've tried..and trust me, I know I'm good." he joked, "Amy and Ellie have said I'm good when I, you know, go down on them back." he took a sip of beer.

Spinner this time gave a grossed out face while Jay smirked.. so Em didn't like Sean pleasing her ? Jay remembered when he could make her shake in seconds..

_Emma's mouth dropped in pleasure, sighing and arching back, throwing her head back as Jay held her thighs apart, his head between. "JAY!" she cried out and he tried even harder and she was squeeling in delight before she came, tangling her fingers into his hair and screaming for him._

Jay took his last shot happily and stood up, "I'm calling it a night, boys." he said with pride.

Spinner and Sean just nodded waving goodbye and Jay left, happily tossing his keys out of his pocket and into his car engine.

Finally, something he knew Sean couldn't do for Emma but he could.

_**I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck  
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me  
Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of  
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?  
No, no, no, you know it will always just be me**_

Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster  
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,  
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?  
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,  
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?


	6. Spike's Gone, Sean's Back

Emma was pacing back and forth infront of Holly J's room, knowing her mom was in there, sleeping

She wanted to go in, tell her to get out if she wasn't going to even act human or help out with groceries or her own damn kids.

Emma nervously bit her nails as KC came over, holding baby Jack

"Emmy." Jack pouted, reaching out for her. Emma sighed glancing at the room again before taking Jack.

KC saddened watching her, and Drew came running up the stairs happily.

"Where's mom?" Drew asked, excited, he wore his school football uniform and it looked like he won, "I got a touch down!"

"Sleeping.." drifted KC, not understanding why Drew always thought Spike cared.

Drew quickly went on into her room though.

"Mom." whispered Drew coming around her bed side and bent down.

Spike fluttered her eyes open, "Drew." she whispered back, tiredly smiling and put her hand out.

He smiled and put his hand into hers, holding it tight, "I won today, and I got a touch down."

"A touch down?" Spike sounded so proud, "When's the next game?"

Drew stopped smiling slowly, to sadly smile, she always asked..but she never came, but he was hopeful this time. Maybe THIS time would be different.

"Tomorrow night, will you come?" he asked.

She nodded and closed her eyes, "Sure baby."

Drew noticed she dozed off quickly and he smiled getting up, and went out her door, quietly closing it. He turned to see KC still out there, leaning on the wall by her room and giving him an unreadable look.

"You can't depend on her to show up Drew." KC told him.

KC was 14, while Drew 15. Even if Drew was older, KC seemed so mature, and Drew was always sometimes nieve.

Drew glared but didn't wanted to fight, "She'll come, okay?" with that, he walked off and KC sadly watched him go.

The next night, Manny sat with Emma on a foot ball bench, watching Drews game and Manny sighed, "I think I gotta break up with Craig."

Emma looked over, shocked, "but you love him?"

Manny took a deep breath, looking around until looking at Emma with a serious look, "Think I fell out of love.."

Emma stared off and then caught a glimpse of a car that pulled up, an orange civic. Jay.

Emma jumped when a figure jumped beside her, sitting down, "Hey." KC greeted.

"You came to watch the game?" Emma was impressed

KC nodded and frowned after a moment, "He thinks Spike's going to come."

"Mom never comes." Emma shot back and he nodded.

"I tried to tell him.."

Manny sadly looked at Drew, "So that's why he keeps looking around." the three sadly watched Drew play.

When they went back home, Emma watched Drew run right upstairs to go see Spike and he'd probably ask why she didn't go and she'd either give a bad excuse, or just look numb.

Emma ran a hand through her hair and saw Holly J sitting beside a sleeping Jack on the couch.

"When do you think I can get my room back?" joked Holly J.

Emma sat down next to her and laughed softly, "I don't know.. it's almost been a week.. new record. She'll probably be gone soon."

With that, Drew came running down the stairs and stopped on the last step.

He swallowed hard, but gave the news, "She's gone" the hurt that crossed his face broke Emma's heart but she nodded.

She wasn't shocked.

She looked back to Holly J, "Guess you got your room back"

Emma heard her phone beep and looked down, a text from Sean.

"Can we talk" it read.

Emma ignored it.

That weekend, Emma swam in her pool and let the water wash over her, swimming under and holding her breath as long as she could.

What it would be like to just end this.

Emma swam to the shallow side and stood up in the pool, tossing her long wet hair to the side.

"Preparing for the olympics?" came a joking taunt, from her one and only.

Jay smirked, leaning on his car that was parked all the way back into the driveway, so had a view of her in the back yard.

Emma gave a look but hopped out of the pool, Jay swallowed, trying not to stare at her body too long.

"Sean send you over again?" Emma taunted.

"No." Jay admitted, "I came myself."

Emma looked impressed while grabbing a towel and dried her hair a bit before walking over to him.

"what do you need?" she put her hands on her hips, her red bikini showing off that tanned toned tight body.

Jay silently blessed that body.

He snapped out of it, "You need groceries or anything? Can drive you.."

Emma raised an eyebrow and he nodded towards his car, she cracked a little smile though and nodded, "let me go put on some clothes."

"I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you didn't." Jay hollared after her as she laughed.

She came out wearing a white tank and jeans, her wet hair tossed in a high bun. No make up. So naturally beautiful. Fuck. Jay couldn't believe it, he was mad about Greenpeace.

Sean would murder him.

He drove and they sat in silence.

Emma bit her lip before she let it out, "My mom left finally."

Silence.

Jay glanced at her and back at the road before repeating, "Finally?" he glanced back at her. he doubted she meant that.

Emma sadly frowned, "Maybe not _finally_, but I hate when she comes home. Gives us hope."

"You think it was going to be different this time?" Jay asked her.

Emma shook her head, "Not me, Drew.. Holly J in a way depends on my mom too, they use to be close. Jack didn't even look like he knew who she was." she whispered the last part.

Emma tossed food into the cart as they began to grocery shop.

"Why don't you move?" Jay asked, "then she won't know where you guys are."

"House is paid for, we just have to pay hydro and cable, all that jazz.." Emma drifts off, "Plus.. it's our home."

Jay watched Emma closer as she picked up some food box and read it before throwing it into the cart. She was so much more.. real now. I mean before he thought her ignorance was cute to the real life but now that she had some bad in her life, she grew up a lot. Made her even more amazing. Not that he wished she was going through this.

When they got home he helped her put food into the fridge and cubboards.

"Hey Em." Drew said, coming in from the back door, then noticed Jay, "Hey Jay."

Jay closed the fridge and nodded at him.

KC came in after and hit Drew's arm, "Supposedly Claire is having a few people over tonight, wana crash it?"

"Crash a prude's party?" Drew snickered, "No way."

"Don't call her a prude." Emma said, leaning on the kitchen table as her and Jay finished.

Jay chuckled, knowing why she took it to heart, "Em's touchy with that name." he smirked when she tossed a glare at her shoulder at him, he just leaned against the fridge happily.

"KC's inlove with her." Drew taunted and KC shoved him but smiled

Holly J came by holding her purse and waved, "Going shopping losers, see you later." she noticed Jay and smirked her Holly J smirk, "Oh, Hey Hogart." with that, she left, skipping happily.

Emma rolled her eyes to Jay who even had a 'I'm guilty for being hot' look and chuckled when Emma gave him that look.

Emma shook her head, Jay will always be a legend to the Degrassi girls.

"I should bring her flowers." KC said, mind still on Claire.

Drew laughed, "Lame!" Kc punched him arm, "Ow!"

KC looked like he was pondering.

"Just ask her to go to the movies." Emma said with a shrug.

KC snickered, "Em, can't really take your advice here, your lacking with your romance department. We all know Sean's been M.I.A"

Not really, he's been phoning, Emma's just been ignoring.

Emma gave a bittered laugh, crossing her arms as Jay laughed loudly and grabbed an apple on the counter, taking a successful bite out of it.

As if he just said that!

KC looked to Jay, "How do you ask a girl out?"

"He doesn't." muttered Emma, loud and clear for him to hear though as the two shared a look.

"I don't know." Jay shrugged to KC, feeling put on the spot, "Just tell her she's hot." KC was what? 15.. girls didn't care what Jay had to say back then.

"You can do better than that." even Drew said and Emma laughed loudly this time, enjoying this.

"Take her to the Ravine?" Jay spat out, raising an eyebrow at Emma who abruptly stopped laughing. She glared, giving him a warning look but he just grinned devilishly, taking another bite of his apple.

Emma ended up smiling though and softly giggled until the back door opened again.

"We need to talk."

Emma's mouth dropped seeing Sean there.

Oh god.


	7. All The Single Ladies

Drew and KC almost instantly left and Sean didn't even say hi or anything, just crossed his big arms across his chest, waiting for Emma to come out back with him.

Sean the noticed Jay and gave a wierd look, "What the hell you doing here?" he asked.

Jay rolled his eyes, "Missed you too buddy."

"Are you guys.." Sean drifts and Emma went red, totally embarressed.

"Yeah." Jay said bitterly, and sarcastically while he glanced where Drew and KC just left, "right infront of the kids, all the time. Get off on it."

"Jay, shut up." Emma sighed, but laughed silently, going over to Sean. She was just too exhausted to have this all going on right now, "Come on." she pulled Sean's hand.

Jay frowned deeply, watching them leave and wished the he could hear the conversation. He gloomily turned to the garbage and threw the apple out before grabbing his keys to go.

"Your not returning any of my calls." Sean angirly said.

"you made me CHOSE!" Emma yelled at him.

"So is this it? Are we done?" he shook his head

Emma opened her mouth but cat got her tounge, and she sadly shrugged, "I think so..." she drifted off.

"Fine." spat Sean, as he stormed off.

Emma looked down and then took a deep breath, that felt a bit good. Like a wieght off her chest. She jogged to the back door and went back in,

"Would you wana watch a mo-" Emma stopped talking, looking around for Jay until she heard a car start up, music blasting from out front and knew he was in his car, and gone.

Emma saddened a bit and the sighed.. she was crushin on Jay again, that was never good, always complicated.

A few weeks passed, and they stuck to their normal routine. Get kids ready, drop Jack at day care, go to school. Repeat. Yet..every Sunday Jay would still come around, helping Emma do things.

She even had asked him to try to help her fix the sink. That was fun watching him do..

"I did it!" Manny cheered, sitting onto the couch between Emma and Holly J as she got in, "I dumped the coke head ass."

"Coke head?" repeated Holly J, confused.

Emma's mouth dropped, "Craig was on coke?"

Manny nodded then clapped her hands, "We need to party!"

"I heard Darcy's having a party this weekend." Holly J spoke up, and smiled, "we can all get hammered!"

Emma rolled her eyes smiling, "Why doesn't this feel like a good idea?"

"GO, GO, GO, GO!" Manny and Holly J cheered happily as Emma chugged the rest of her beer and then set it on the table hard, shaking her head in disgust.

God she hated the way that stuff tasted, but she was feeling it!

Darcy laughed with them, hanging out together and then gasped, "Peter!" she jumped into her boyfriends arms.

Holly J whispered between Manny and Emma, "Does she know he's a scumbag?" Holly J asked.

"Stop!" hissed Emma but giggled madly with Manny.

"Hey beautiful." he greeted then looked at the girls, "Hey... hey Em." he nodded and stared at her.

Emma uncomfortably shifted til seeing someone behind them, "JT! Liberty!" they smiled coming over.

The party was actually getting big and Spinner showed up, even Jimmy, then Jay even came.

Emma lit up a bit when she saw him and he walked over then noticed her too, connecting eyes, his grey eyes seemed to get a gleam in them and he smirked about to say hey until Peter stumbled infront of her.

"Y-You want a drink?" Peter asked over the music, drunkenly swaying.

"I'll pass." Emma declared, raising an eyebrow, unimpressed. Still a scumbag...

"Heard you and Sean broke up." Peter said. Jay still stood behind him, eyeing the guy down that was clueless of him, but shot Emma a shocked look.

Emma just nodded, so what? Doesn't mean she'd get back with Peter. Ew!

"Hey Gossip girl." Jay finally spoke up and he jumped and turned, "Beat it." he threatened.

Peter grumbled but nodded, leaving and Emma gave Jay a 'you would' look.

"Emma!" came a voice as soon as the two were finally alone and both cursed under their breath.

Emma rolled her eyes, turning to her intruder, "Toby!" she said, giving him a 'what!?' look.

"You and Sean? You broke up? Finally!" he cheered but sheepishly smiled, still having that crush.

Emma rolled her eyes smiling this time, classic Toby. Behind her, Jay scratched the back of his neck and slowly walked away... he wasn't use to trying to beg for attention.

When Toby finally shut up, Emma turned and just saw Holly J standing there, giving her a sad look.

"He left." Holly J informed, knowing what she was looking for.

Emma frowned, the frowned deeper, was she THAT obvious? Her heart fell.

Holly J sadly smiled watching Emma pass her and go. Emma was just obvious to her, she's seen the two around another, sparks were always there, fireworks even, specially when they fought.

"Em!" Manny grabbed the blonde before she passed her and dragged her beside.

Emma balanced herself and looked up, "Hi."

Sully stood with Manny and boy did he do some growing up, and has been working out.

"Hey Emma.. haven't seen you since.." he drifts off thinking about it and cringed.

Yeah. Since he found out she may of had a disease and embarressed her while they both starred in the Dracula play and he couldn't kiss her.

"You look great." he said, trying to make up for it

Emma smiled sadly, least he was trying, "thanks." she looked around boredly and trying to look for something, someone.

A memory washed over her when she used Sully to make Jay jealous and it worked, he had pulled her into the library and against the shoves, with a pissed off look.. oh big bad Jay, Emma sighed.

"I was telling Sully we're both single woman again!" cheered Manny to then smirk, eying him then Emma.

Sully coughed and nodded, "I was wondering.." he looked at Emma, "If you wanted to grab coffee."

Coffee?

Emma tried not to roll her eyes but nodded for some reason, wow, where was this coming from.

"Sure!" she declared.


	8. I Need You Here With Me

"With Sully Parker?" Drew asked Emma, sitting on the steps with KC. The boys slowly looked at another and bursted out laughing.

"What?" Emma hissed, crossing her arms.

"He's a dumbass." Drew said.

KC smiled softly, "He is kind of an airhead."

"I can work with that." Emma said, putting her hands on her hips, "No more smart ass replies? Go me." she cheered yet wasn't that excited.

"Man!" KC yelled when someone came in from the front door behind Emma, "Did you hear?"

Jay walked up behind Emma and asked, "What?"

"Em's got a date with Sully." Drew cracked up.

"Wow." Jay just said, eyes wondering around the room but muttered, "You move fast." jesus, he was NOT good with jealousy, he was always so use to getting what he wanted.

Emma looked a bit taken back, excuse me?

"Why are you even here?" she madly asked, hands still on her hips and lookin fierce.

Jay nodded at Drew, "He said he needed a ride somewhere."

Drew clapped his hands together and rubbed them getting up.

"Where are you going?" Emma asked, grabbing his arm.

"Movies, with a hot chick. Mom." he teased.

Jay rolled his eyes, "That's what I'm doing? Playing taxi for your date?" Christ, did he not have a life anymore? He couldn't help but smirk though, shaking his head. Classic Drew

"I got a date too." KC said smiling,"I asked Claire out." he gushed

Emma smiled, KC seemed like KC again lately.

"Okay, well, tomorrow can you watch Baby Jack?" Emma asked Drew.

Drew shook his head, "Got another date with another girl tomorrow."

"I won't be driving you around tomorrow too." taunted Jay.

Drew waved him off, "Old Jay would of understand." he began to walk out as Jay's mouth dropped.

"Old Jay? What the hells that mean!?" he barked, going after Drew, "You want mean old Jay to come out?" he taunted threatning.

Drew laughed and ran out of the house quickly into his car.

"Little b-"

"Hey!" Emma exclaimed, cutting Jay off from whatever he was about to call her little brother but laughed, she knew she loved Drew for a reason.

Jay sighed and turned to her, "Great raising." he bittered playfully and shared a smirk with her until KC stepped between them, Jay blinked, "You want a ride too?"

"Yea, sure." KC happily took the offer and grabbed his jacket. He went out and to the car with Drew.

"What about you Nelson? Any dates you need _me_ to drive you to?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow.

Emma just smirked, "Maybe tomorrow." she hoped it crawled under his skin.

Jay snickered, turning to the door, "Wait nevermind, busy tomorrow."

"What about the next day?"

"Busy too."

"A week from then?"

"Still probably busy." Jay slammed the door behind him leaving Emma alone and giggling. Her heart was beating fast until she stopped herself and randomly sat on the ground.

Oh no.

Was she **FALLING **for Jay?

She heard Baby Jack start crying and she groaned, running her hands through her hair, holding her head for a second, and then crawled up to go get him.

Tomorrow came and Emma was getting ready for her date, okay, maybe not, she didn't even really dress up..

"you should wear a push up bra." Drew informs, sitting on a couch as Emma looked herself over in the mirror.

Emma turned and yelped, "DREW!"

"you little slime ball." Holly J said, sitting beside him and playfully slapped his head.

KC sat on the other couch playing play station and he laughed, glancing over.

Drew taunted her, "Holly J, I'd offer it to you but we all know even if you wore one, it'd do no difference." he and KC bellowed with laughter.

Holly J picked Baby Jack up from the floor, rolling her eyes, "Yuck it up, _clowns_." she stood up and grabbed her cellphone and a bag full of baby things.

Emma turned to her and saddened, "You're sure your okay bringing Baby Jack to Anyas?"

"Anya's parents still baby _her_, sure they would be glad to have an actual little baby around tonight." HollyJ shrugged.

Emma nodded and kissed Baby Jacks head who waved and said Goodbye before they left.

"We should get going too." Drew told KC who nodded and got up, throwing the controller.

"Be back by Midnight." Emma warned them, they just nodded and left.

An hour or two later, Emma sat at the Dot having coffee with Sully, and she boredly twisted her spoon in her mug as he went on ..and on..and on.

"So?" Sully said, tilting his head to catch her attention and she blinked out of it.

"What?" she asked, taken back. Oh shit, did he ask her something?

From behind she heard little snickers and giggles, from boys, from familiar boys. KC and Drew were at the Dots counter, Spinner leaning on it with them, watching her date, and sitting on the stools leaning back on the counter was **Jay**.

Those LITTLE fuc-

"Batman movies, you like them?" Sully asked, excited.

"No." Emma sighed, maybe she should of lied.

He frowned, "Oh."

Emma looked back to her brothers and glared hard before looking at Jay and giving him an unbelievable look. He just put his hands out and shrugged, like he had no choice.

"Let's call it a night." Emma admitted, "Sorry Sully."

"Y-You don't like me?" he stared off so confused, "Everyone likes me. God this makes me want you more."

Emma blinked and just got up "Night Sully!" she yelped a bit when he got up and held her elbows, bringing her into him and kissing her cheek.

"You are one hot girl." he insisted, "I'm not giving up." he winked and then left.

Emma stood there, shocked, and disgusted. She was giving up! Why not him?

When the Dot door closed Emma stormed over to the boys, "Why the hell are you guys stalking? You little freaks."

Kc and Drew were bending over laughing too hard to even reply. Even Spinner was going red, trying to hold it in. Jay carelessly grinned devilishly.

"And you." Emma snapped at him and mocked, "Thought you were busy today and tomorrow and so on."

"I was, doing this." Jay informs, his grin turning to a smirk as his eyes burned into hers til dully looking where her date left, "How was the hot date?"

"Great!" Emma lied.

"Yea, you practically sleeping while he talked seemed REAL great." Drew confirmed and KC hit him, trying to beg him to stop. The laughing was beginning to hurt!

"So he talks alot, all you guys do." Emma taunted, annoyed. They all stopped laughing and shared their glares at Emma.

Emma smiled happily, shutting them up.

"We're going out again tomorrow." she lied, and Jay raised an eyebrow, his fists clenching as well as teeth.

With that, Emma stormed out.

The boys started laughing again but not Jay, he wasn't in the mood anymore. Another? Another fucking date? Are you kidding.

Jay slammed his car door shut when he got in and sat there. He wanted Emma, badly, needed her even, but it was so hard to tell her.

He felt his chest cave in. Fucking Sean, fucking Sully.. wait. Jay coughed, trying to make that wierd feeling in his chest go away.

Shit.

Was he falling for Em?

.. was he in love this whole time?

"Shiiiiitttttt." Jay cursed loudly, punching his steering wheel twice and rubbed a hand down his exhausted face. He was gonna have to fight to get Emma.

Emma of all girls, he had to fall for, the girl who DEBATED the things she believed in. She probably didn't believe in him so this was going to be a hell of a ride.

When Emma got home she shut the door behind her and then heard movement in the kitchen

"Holly J? Back already?" she went into the kitchen and stopped in her tracks.

Spike was sipping her glass of wine and lazily looked at Emma, "Emm, baby." she slurred and put her arms out, "Come give mommy a hug."

Emma stood there and swallowed the sadness in her throat. It's almost been a month, right, she would come home.

"I-I got a lot of homework to do." she lied, backing up.

Spike just nodded and leaned on the kitchen counter for a plate to fall and smash, "Opps woops." Spike giggled and watched Emma turn then slowly go over and bend

Emma picked it all up and her mom went and sat on the kitchen table, "How was your trivia game at school?" she muttered, closing her eyes.

Emma rolled her eyes, "That was 8 months ago mom." she said and turned, to see Spike sleeping

Emma dragged her feet to the kitchen light and turned it off but before she went she heard her mother call her back.

"I'm gonna need some money." Spike told her, "Leave a 50 on the table tomorrow morning will ya?" with that, she put her head down and slept at the table.

Emma bit her tounge and left.

The next day was a Sunday, and Jay naturally jogged up The Nelson's porch steps and went to open it, locked.

He gave an odd look, usually it was unlocked but he knocked.

A few moments later finally Emma opened the door and saw him, to sadly lean her head against the wall.

Jay eyed behind her.. it was dark in the house, when it was such a beautiful day... that meant one thing. Spike was home. But he wouldn't make Emma talk about it.

He nodded behind him to his car, "Need to do some errands?"

Emma tiredly looked into his eyes and sighed, she wanted to, but she couldn't leave Baby Jack with Spike.

"Not today Jay.." she said, upset, she really wanted to go with him.

He frowned but slowly nodded, his eyes transited on her so closely and worried.

Emma bit her lower lip and said, "Maybe tomorrow...or in 7 days." she confirms, closing the door as she muttered, "She never stays longer than a week."

Jay stared at the closed door. Wasn't right what her mom did to these kids.

Inside, Emma turned to go wake her mom up finally from in the kitchen. When she walked in she noticed Spike was now on the ground, just sleeping on the floor.

"Mom, get up." Emma nudged her a bit, no movement, "Ma." she said.

"Go." muttered Spike, and went back to sleeping.

"Emmyyyy." came Baby Jacks voice and Emma gasped, turning to the baby boy running to her happily until he stopped and tilted his body to look around Emma, at Spike, "What's wrong!" he asked.

Emma rubbed her forehead, she never wanted Jack to see this so she went to him and grabbed his hand, "Let's go watch Barney." she said, plastering a huge fake smile on her face and guided him to the Tv room

As Jack danced and clapped his hands infront of the tv, Emma sat back on the couch watching him, echos of the song playing around them, she tried to hold in her cry but tears fell down and she snuffled, trying to whipe them so Jack didn't see if he turned. she glanced to the kitchen again and took a deep shakey breath. She looked at the front door, wishing Jay would just come back and do what he did best, make her laugh, even when she was mad at him.


	9. It's Your Love I've Been Dreamin Of

"Emma?" Drew jogged to the tv room the next day.

Emma was still just numb, sitting on the couch, "Yeah?" she blinked and looked over.

He was wearing his degrassi football uniform, "You going to come to my game tonight?" he asked.

"Oh..I can't." she admitted, glancing at the kitchen, she still had yet to tell Drew she was home, only KC and Holly J had to see her when they went to make stuff to eat.

"Oh." Drew' shoulders dropped but he nodded, understanding "Alright, well I'm going to sleep at my friends tonight, see you in the morning!"

With that, he left, all the kids were out. Emma had to beg Holly J to bring Baby Jack to Anya's again.. she just.. had to deal with this herself.

Emma pulled herself off the couch but then stopped when her phone rang.

She turned back and picked it up, "hello?" she coughed, her voice so strain.

"Oh you're alive." came his voice that made Emma melt, Jay.

She closed her eyes but smiled, "How'd you get my number?"

"Emma, I help shop, I help fix things, I'm not for free you know, I need to pretend we're somewhat friends so... I lurked our work phone and found your number."

"Desperate much?" Emma taunted back, crossing her arms and blushing a bit.

His teasing reply shot back, "As if Nelson, you think I'm into you or somethin?"

Emma went redder and shook her head, her heart skipped a beat. So.. was he flirting with her then? Did he want her back?

Silence.

"I gotta go.." Emma admitted, looking back towards the kitchen.

"It's a Friday night..." he protested.

Emma took a deep shakey breath, "That means nothing to me."

She could almost feel his frown, "I'll come over?"

"No!" Emma said way too quickly, "No.. not..tonight."

"Emma, I can help."

"No you can't." she said, gritting her teeth. No one helped, no one EVER wanted to! No one gave a shit to actually parent these kids.

These kids. Emma snickered to herself, she kept forgetting even she herself was one of these abandoned kids..

Emma felt bad, but hung up, and tossed the phone on the couch, sniffing and letting the tears come out.

"Stop." Emma said to herself, closing her eyes tight and taking a breath, "Stop crying." she put a brave act on and then walked over to the kitchen.

Spike was lying on her back now, and Emma put her foot out, nudging her hip a bit.

"Mom wake up." Emma said and coughed, trying to be stronger, "Mom!"

Silence.

Nothing.

She didn't even stir.

Emma bent over, yelling as hard as she could as she shook with tears, "MOM!" she landed on the floor on her put, bringing her knees close to her chest and cried her eyes out.

Why couldn't anyone take care of her? Where was her source of stability?

Emma cried so hard she leaned on the kitchen wall tiredly and put leaned her head back, tiredly closing her eyes with her passed out mother on the floor next to her.

It wasn't even 40 minutes later until Emma heard a car pull up out back, and then the back door creeking open.

She tiredly opened her eyes, they were still blurry from all the tears and red. She looked up to Jay and he stopped when he looked down at her, and beside her, and back into her eyes. She's never seen so much sorrow cross a persons face as he bent down infront of her.

"Come on.." Jay whispered, putting the hair that way infront of Emma's face behind her ear.

Emma blinked and closed her eyes for a second before shaking her head no.

"Come on." he said more firmly, he didn't like the Emma who tried to numb herself from the pain, and he swiftly put his arms under her and lifted her up like bridal postition.

He heard her snuffle into his neck and his heart ached for her as he walked her to the living room and away from the kitchen, softly putting her on the couch.

As he put her down and went to stand and possibly go, Emma feared that and put her hands on his shoulder as he was still bending, his hands on her hips.

"Stay." she begged, she needed **hi**m, she was coming to terms with that, Emma Nelson needed someone and it was Jay Hogart.

Nobody else.

Jay knew that look in her eye, he saw it before and looked as she looked up to him so dear like, "you don't want this." he whispered to her, feeling her hands go from his shoulders to holding his neck.

"You don't know how badly I do." her voice cracked and they were inches away from anothers lips.

Did he want her back? Was this going to be more than a hook up? Emma needed to know that he felt back what she did.

So passionate, so everlasting desire for one person.

The next words took Emma back, "Why don't you call on Sully?" the tone of his voice was so bitter, so..jealous. It had to be, he had to be jealous. That meant he liked her right? Please be soo..

Emma leaned up and kissed him and he shut his eyes tight, not knowing if he could handle what this would do to him but kissed her back deeply, cupping his hands around her face and shoving his tounge between it as she playfully teased his back and he crawled over her on the couch, making out until breathless and then some more as his hands wondered around her body, with her moaning in between the kiss.

It was like a natural routine of how they use to make out, and it felt like bliss, and no one kissed her like Jay Hogart kissed her..always made her feel the world was gone and it was just them two. His lips trailed down her neck and then her chest, and Emma bit her lower lip, remembering what this always led to and she wanted it, **needed **it. He made her feel so damn good.

Her shirt was hiked up a bit so when he kissed down her stomach, he left kisses on her bare stomach, and she gasped a bit when he kissed right above her belly botton, then under it. His finger tips slowly trailing down her hips, hooking onto her boy shorts and slipping them off smoothly.

Soon enough Emma was sighing and moaning, she leaned her head back on the couch and arched her back up as Jay was between her legs, sucking at her heat and she cried out and whimpered when she was drawing near, gripping his hair between her fingers.

"Huh, uh, ohh my god." Emma pleaded and begged, and squrimed a little, if not for his strong grip holding her thighs apart she'd probably be curled into a ball by how amazing this felt.

Jay came back up, kissing up her stomach again as his fingers entered her and she put her hands on his shoulders, gripping his shirt into her little fits as he pumped and leaned over her again, kissing and sucking on her neck.

"Jay." she whimpered, slowly pressing up when his talented fingers did their work.

He stopped and she was breathing heavy and even gave a pouty sound that he longed to hear again and grinned to when he heard it.

She looked up at him so out of breath, so in bliss. She looked questionable.

"Tell me _this _will be more this time." Jay told her, "Tell me now, or it can't happen." he whispered but was honest.

He needed her, all of her this time.

Emma stared at him but fear wrecked through her body. He'll just leave. He'll find out he can't do this kind of life, and he'll make her chose him or her family a-and-

Emma got up quickly and he sighed unhappily, falling where she once laid as she put her shorts back on and he stood up, shaking his head at her.

"If you haven't noticed, my lifes a little crazy to be making those kind of promises!" Emma snapped, glaring at him.

How dare he make her fall for him again

**You never stopped. **her mind yelled at her and she pushed it away and walked to down the hall, opening the front door and motioning him to leave.

"Talk about a quickie." he bittered, and walked over but before he went out the door he tilted his head at her, watching her admiringly even though he was mad at her.

See? See the things she did to him?

She was trying to look tough, and angry, but her need for him was becoming obvious, he needed her just as much too.

He leaned down and she gasped but let him press his lips to hers, softly kissing her and doing it tenderly, showing the care through it.

Emma closed her eyes and slowly kissed back.

She was suddenly banged against the floor and she tried ripping at his shirt. He happily took it off for her and ripped apart those stupid shorts she put back on before he lifted her and she leaned against the wall in the dark hall and threw her shirt off.

Her hands swayed down his lean fit chest and down to his lower stomach, unbuckling his belt as he nearly growled and she smiled naughtily, unzipping him and letting his hardness out. She bit her lip looking at him now, both staring at another as he positioned himself, her legs wrapped around him.

He plunged up deep inside her and she cried out in such pleasure, tossing her head back and then down, panting and started to move up and down with him. He leaned himself on the wall and closed his eyes seeing stars. He's never been inside her and it was more than what he dreamt about.

Her mouth hung in pleasure as he quickened up the pace and playfully bit near her nipple, kissing her perfect sized breast and then squeezed them with his hands as he pushed up in her quickly, out slowly, and back in quickly.

"I'm coming." she panted, whimpering over and over and shaking as he was in sweat down head to two.

He nodded leaning him forehead on hers and gave a groan, thrusting into her.

They soon fell on the floor when Jay couldn't even hold her up anymore it felt too good and she moved over him now, making love to him from on top and he tried to keep his eyes open, wanting to see her come when he did and she cried his name out as he clenched her hips and then her ass as he bucked once more into her and groaned loudly, yelling her name out with a curse.

_**I don't mind it, I don't mind if you're overrated  
Or if you're staring at the edge of the world.  
Keep in mind that I'm a sore eye with blurry vision.  
But I can see it has to be your love that I've been dreaming of.  
And if we climb this high, I swear we'll never die.**_

I'll never die.

(my understandings-of mice and men)

She collapsed ontop of him and he panted and winced when he pulled out. Fuck. That was..

Jesus Christ.

"Fuck, baby." Jay cursed again, still breathless and running his fingers through her hair when she laid her head on his chest, just laying there with him and laughed exhaustingly, closing her eyes..he use to call her baby during their secret relationship years ago..god she missed hearing it.

Jay smirked, knowing he wore her out and roamed his hands over her beautiful naked body.

Emma woke up in her bed the next morning and smiled, a still naked Jay sleeping beside her in her bed.

He was such a stud.

She put on her pajamas as she crept up the stairs and opened her door to see the kitchen was bare. She even walked into Holly J's room but thankfully, Spike was gone again. Maybe she'll come back again in a month..or two. But Emma smiled happily at how things were now, and she bit her lower lip trying to stop smiling so much.


	10. There's A Shark In The Water

Emma and Jay were making out in the kitchen as Jay cupped her face and deepened the kiss. She sat on the counter while he stood between her legs.

The two split apart, looking pretty guilty, when Drew, KC and Manny came in and eyed the scene.

"uhh." was all Jay said, before taking a step back from Emma who jumped down and blushed.

"It's not Sunday." smirked Drew, eyeing between the two. How could he be so dumb ? Course these two were at it with another, the tension was always so high in the room whenever he was over.

KC looked at his watch while walking out, "It's pretty early too, have a slumber?" he taunted and left.

Drew laughed and followed as Manny raised an eyebrow at them, "Were you two just kissing?"

Emma gave her a look that would kill and Jay smirked, avoiding Manny's eyes and looked back to Emma.

"Uh huh, you so were." Manny skipped out of the kitchen, loving it when she was right. The two were obvious!

Jay's smirk turned into a cheeky grin when Emma looked up at him like this was his fault and groaned as he wrapped his arms around her.

When Monday came Jay had slept over again, and he carressed Emma's hair as she was falling asleep and pouted a bit.

"Stawwwp."

"Stop what?" he smirked more, and carressing her hair turned into messing it up until she grabbed his hands and laughed, opening her eyes.

"Some of us have school tomorrow." she teased.

He grinned, "Not me." he pinned her underneath him and she giggled, trying to get out but he kissed her all over.

When morning came, Jay helped Emma wake up the kids.

"School time kiddos." taunted Jay as he opened the boys' room. Drew and KC groaned as KC fell out of bed. Jay snickered closing the door, well, atleast they were up.

He jogged down the steps to see Baby Jack in his high chair and Emma feeding him.

"You can feed me later too you know, if you want." Jay joked, opening the fridge. She had lunches done already. Quick little bugger. He closed the fridge.

Emma smiled over to him and shrugged, "Maybe later."

He raised his eyebrows, impressed she actually played along. Not the Nelson he was TOO use to but he was enjoying it.

HollyJ seemed like she was freaking out when she walked in, "I can't find my pink jacket ANYWHERE.." she panicked.

Emma looked around while whipping Jacks face clean of food, and Jay nodded behind Holly J who gave a wierd look but turned and gasped.

"THANKGOD!" she grabbed it off the kitchen stool chair and went back upstairs.

Jay sat next to Emma as she finished cleaning off Jack to then huff but laugh when Jack put his hands into his cereal and ate again.

"Do you work today?" Emma asked him.

He nodded, watching her take care of Jack... was it wierd he was secretily saying in his head that one day, when the time was right, he'd want kids with Emma and just Emma. And he was never the planning a future with a family type.

Emma gasped and covered her mouth when Jack threw a few cereal pieces and it hit one at Jay, sticking to his cheek that Emma slowly took off, trying to stop herself from laughing but cracked and giggled uncontrollably.

Jay nodded, "That's funny huh?" he taunts and grabbed some out of the bowl and threw it at her, she squeeled and tried to cover herself with her hands.

"JAY I HAVE SCHOOL!" she shrieked but laughed.

Jay's orange civic pulled up to Degrassi, and the kids waved goodbye to Jay as he dropped them off at school. Before Emma got out, he grabbed her back and kissed her deeply.

She smiled against the kiss and pulled away, "Who knew you'd be an okay boyfriend."

"Okay?" repeated Jay, stunned, he was awesome! ... with the right girl. She shut the door but the window was still open and he recalled another word, "Boyfriend?"

Emma just smirked over her shoulder and went into school. It was exams. Finally! Which meant Summer soon!

Jay walked into work and happily grabbed his tool box, going to a car Sean and two other guys were working on.

"What are you so happy about?" Sean asked, stopping his work on painting the car.

Jay smirked, "No reason Cameron." _Just the fact I rightfully won Emma and treat her way better than you could. _

Sean just shrugged.

At school Emma was in class waiting for tests to be handed out as Manny sat behind her and eyed her neck.

"Emma!" she gasped, kicking the back of her chair.

Emma gave a wierd look and hissed, "What?" she looked over her shoulder.

Manny pointed at her neck, "Did Jay leave little imprints to warn off the boys at school?" she taunts.

Emma gasped and put her hand on her neck. FUCK! Did he?! She was soo busy with Jack this morning...hmph, and Jay.. that she really didn't look at herself in the mirror.

"You are lucky today was my last day of school." Emma told Jay, when he came into her house later that night.

"Why's that?" he plopped down on the couch next to her and laid his head in her lap.

Emma rolled her eyes, "You left hickeys all over me!" she pointed at the evidence.

Jay smirked up at her, eyeing his work admiringly, "That wasn't me." he simply insisted, little devil.

"Actually.." Emma drifted off, "Come to think of it, you may be right."

Jay's mouth fell, was she trying to say she was fooling around with another guy?

"Sully does it a lot, and he loooves leaving big marks, god the way he-" Emma screamed and laughed when Jay sat up and grabbed her into his arms, tickling her sides "OK! IM KIDDING! HAHAHA! IM JOKING! JAY PLEASE!"

He laid her down and crawled on top, "That's what I like to hear."

"Jay please?" Emma asked, wondering what he meant and he just smirked and she bit her lip while seductively smiling and running her hands up his shirt, "Jay..please.." she whispered, and he groaned and went to kiss her-

"Oh please" taunted Holly J, walking in.

They both sat up and Emma blushed, and even Jay sheepishly grinned, scratching the back of his neck as Holly J went upstairs.

When all was clear, Jay leaned in to kiss her for Emma to put her hand on his chest, "Maybe we're going to fast." she said, but a smirk hiding behind her serious face.

Jay gave her a warning look and she just giggled, getting up and going downstairs ever so happy with herself. Jay snickered and shook his head, she'll be the death of him.

_**I kn-kn-know a girl, she gets what she wants all the time  
'Cause she's fine  
But for an angel, she's a hot hot mess  
Make you so blind  
But you don't mind**_

'Cause she's an uptown, get-around, anything-goes girl, girl  
She's a hardcore, candy-store, gimme-some-more girl, girl

Summer was amazing, and Spike only came home once for one night, sure she took more than a hundread dollars from Emma, but Jay actually helped out and well, he was basically living there for how much time he spent there.

Manny was dating some guy again, it wasn't totally serious but Emma was happy she was moving on from Craig.

Sean did find out about Jay and Emma, but he just vanished except for at work when him and Jay **had** to put up with another. Sean usually would break into a fist fight but he found out by Emma visiting Jay at work, and the two actually looked...happy. It was unbelievable.. so he just stayed out of the way.

Spinner was over a lot now too since Jay was always over, and Emma swore Holly J was crushing on him.

They had tons of pool parties and more barbeques, and Emma finally met the girl KC crushed on, Claire.

Summer was almost over, and they were having KC's 15th birthday in the back yard, and doing a barbeque

_**(summer long-Kid rock)  
It's the simple things in life, like when and where  
We didn't have no internet  
But man I never will forget  
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair**_

_**[Chorus:]**__**  
And we were trying different things  
We were smoking funny things  
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song  
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow  
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long  
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long**_

"Maybe we should buy Jay an apron for how much he cooks nowadays." taunted Manny, sitting on the beach chairs with Emma by the grill.

Jay gave her a warning look and went back to flipping burgers while sipping his beer, Spinner was in his ear chatting about college next year.

Jay wasn't interested, he wasn't a college guy.

Emma wore a white bikini, her summer tan just glowing off her with that color, and her hair grew a bit longer and she curled it.

"Dude." KC's friend Connor told him, sitting by the pool, "Your sisters are HOT."

"what?" KC cringed, ew.

"Them." Connor nodded to Emma and Manny.

KC rolled his eyes as Claire came over and sat with them, "That's not his sisters dummy." Claire teased and pointed at Emma, "that's his step sister and Manny's just a friend that lives with them."

KC smiled, looking at her, they were getting to know another well, and she never judged him for having a weird home. She was perfect, almost TOO perfect for him

KC then shrugged, "Emma may not be blood, but she's my sister." he confirmed.

"too bad, I'd hit it." Connor said.

KC's blood boiled, "You couldn't even if you tried, dork." he snapped.

Connor glared, and Claire cringed...sometimes Connor had a mouth he could not back up, and getting KC worked up wasn't a good idea.

"I bet I could, rumors at school she's pretty easy. She's a ravine slut." with that, KC threw himself on top of him and tried to punch him

"OH WOW WOW!" Manny yelled, pointing between a crowd at the fight going on as Emma looked over and her mouth fell.

Spinner ran there first and grabbed KC, Jay sighed and walked over, holding the connor kid back from the back of his shirt.

"Why are you getting into a _fight _on your birthday?!" Emma yelled at KC as he struggled, trying to get at Connor again.

"He called you a Ravine slut!" KC struggled, as did Connor who depended on Jay to hold him back, but Jay annoyingly let the dork go, and Connor fell on his face.

"oww." Connor groaned.

Emma gave Jay a ' I know you did that purposely' look.

Connor crawled up and ran off.

KC stopped struggling and caught his breath and Emma ran a hand through her hair..she had no idea that rumor still went around...probably because people never really believed her and Jay were actually pretty damn serious now.

"Come swim KC." Claire begged, pulling his hand as he looked down sadly and madly.

"Yeah bro, get in the water!" Drew called from in the pool with Claire's friend Ali, who hit on him a lot, but he was eyeing down the older girls, Holly J's friends.

As everyone settled down and got back to eating, playing, or swimming, Emma went back inside to get a water, and decided to get a cup of pop with some vodka in it. She was gonna need it.

The back door opened and Emma already knew it was Jay as he wrapped his arms from her behind, "He's just some stupid kid."

"Some stupid kid I've never heard of yet he knows my private life? From years ago!?" Emma drank her cup with gulps and even Jay was impressed, wow, for not being such a drinker she downed that.

"No one is going to look passed what we did years ago Emma." he told her, "It was top news..Greenpeace giving Juvie Jay a chance?"

"Juvie Jay giving Greenpeace an STD." Emma muttered, making herself a drink.

His arms fell off of her and she silently pouted, maybe she shouldn't of said that.

"I told you I was sorry for that." his voice was hard and stern.

Emma turned and bitterly snickered, "Doesn't erase what happened."

"I don't fully regret what happened." Jay honestly said and she gave him a look of disbelief, "What Emma? Yea I caught something before me and you started fooling around, and I'm sorry it got passed along but I finally got you,and you changed the way I was because of it. I partied too much.." he smirked, "and I was a womaniser."

Emma rolled her eyes, gulping her drink down.

"What?" Jay finally got it, "Ohhhh, you were reminded of Old Jay, now you're mad at me, though you know that's not me anymore. You think I still go to the ravine?"

Emma just raised an eyebrow. She knew it was silly, but with Jay, she felt so possesive. She didn't want to lose him, okay?

"How do I have time when I'm here, all the time, with YOU. And when I'm not? I'm working." Jay scoffed, "Emma I don't want any other girl, I want you. Fuck you drive me nuts."

Emma softly smiled and he glared but cracked a sideways grin.

"You'll be the death of me." he told her as she wrapped her arms around him and laid her chin on his chest. He looked down and wrapped his finger around her chin as he leaned down and kissed her quickly.

They held hands as they came back outside and smiled when Manny was starting to light the candles for KC's birthday with Holly J

Everyone went to sing until the backyard door smacked open, hitting the house hard and everyone turned at the person who yelped and laughed when they did it.

Spike.

Emma's heart dropped. No, no, no, not here, not now.

"Ohhhh balloons." Spike said, grabbing one from a random kid and let it go up in the air, and she watched it like she was high or something.

Drew slowly went over, she hadn't been home in two months, "Mom? You ok?" he went over to hug her.

She grinned and everyone awkwardly watched her put her hands on his shoulders, "Happy Birthday Drew!"

Drew looked away, "Mom, it's KC's birthday." he corrected.

KC stood embarressed with all his friends, Claire held his hand tighter to let him know she was here for him.

Spike just shook her head, "KC Smacey." she ryhmed and laughed, stumbling over to Emma as she gasped, "You're growing up so-" She tripped over a soccer ball and landed on the ground.

She laid there, moody now and groaning, trying to get up..

Jay looked down when Emma let go of his hand and he watched her hurry over, pushing through people and bend down.

"Get up." Emma hissed in a whisper to her mom, grabbing her arm as Spike tried to slap her off.

"I can do it!" she snapped and almost fell again until two hands caught her and balanced her, Emma looked at the new comer.

Sean.

"Shannneeeee." Spike happily said, smiling at Sean who just gave Emma a look and then Spike.

"Let's go inside." he told Spike and nodded to KC who swallowed hard but nodded and went over, putting Spike's other arm around his shoulder and they led her inside.

Emma put a hand on her head and looked around, catching Jay's eye who didn't look happy that Sean was here.

Why the hell was he here?

She knew Summer was being way too good to be true. Trouble was stiring up again, the drama never ended.

_**It wouldn't cause you any harm, I just want you in my arms  
I can't help, I can't help myself**_

_**Baby, there's a shark in the water  
There's something underneath my bed  
Oh, please believe I said  
Baby, there's a shark in the water  
I caught them barking at the moon  
Better be soon**_

(Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do)  
(Better be soon)  
(Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do _**[x2]**__**)**_


	11. Jay's mom VS Emma's mom

Emma closed Holly J's door to let Spike sleep and then turned to Sean, "What are you doing here?" she asked him.

Sean sighed and shrugged, "I missed you." he said honestly.

Emma's shoulders dropped and she gave him a sad look, they weren't like that anymore, she was over him..inlove with someone else, someone perfect for her and made her feel happy again.

"You and everyone." Sean corrected himself, "Yeah you and me don't work anymore, but I come to terms this happened a while ago..but I still care about you Em."

Emma slowly nodded, she cared for him too, he was a good friend.

"Okay..but just, keep out of Jay's way?"

Sean snickered, "He should keep out of mine." he followed her down the stairs.

Emma looked over her shoulder giving a warning look and he put his hands up as if to surrender.

"How'd you get together anyways?" Sean curiously asked.

Emma raised an eyebrow, "Thought we were friends now?"

"I'm curious to how my ex is with my best friend again, permanently this time. you didn't..." he hinted at cheating.

Emma scoffed, "No Sean, though yes I was attracted to him this whole time."

"Hey! That's LIKE cheating." he insisted and Emma opened the back door for him, going to join the party again.

Emma looked crushed, people were leaving, probably because of that scene back there.

"It's okay." KC said, coming up to them and shrugged, "It's getting late anyways. I had a lot of fun." he crookidly smiled and Emma did so back. He really was growin' up!

Emma looked around and saw Jay having a smoke over at the corner of the yard with Spinner. She shook her head, he said he quit smoking when they got together at the start of the summer.

"Can't deal with this now." sighed Emma, going back inside after grabbing KC's cake.

Sean walked over to the boys where Spinner saw him first and kind of paused, glanced at Jay and gave Sean a uncertain grin.

"Sup.." drifts Sean, joining them.

Jay didn't even look at him, exhaling his cigerette, "Oh nothin, just playin' pin the tail on the donnkey." his sarcasm was bitter.

Spinner tried not to grin and gave Sean a shrug, not knowing what to say.

Sean sighed, "I get it man, Emma's yours now, I should be pissed so give me some slack."

"I would if I believed you being back is on good intentions" Jay cornered his eyes at Sean, glaring.

Sean huffed, "It is."

"Not Likely." taunted Jay.

"Look, I see the way she looks at you and how you're _different _now. It use to piss me off, and I didn't believe it one bit but I had the summer to think it over...that plus, a bunch of girls to try and get over it." he joked.

Jay lightly smirked.

"But I see it now." Sean looked around taking in a deep breath of memories, "You handle this shit better than me."

Jay couldn't help but feel bitter to that, he was slowly starting to notice he was getting protective of these kids, of Emma's siblings.

"It's not handleing, it's a way of living." he snapped at Sean, "they weren't asking you for a million bucks and a leg, they just needed support."

Sean looked up, nodding, "And who knew it'd end up Sean, not Jay, who ran away from something like commitment."

Jay shrugged, true, least he got the girl. He shouldn't complain. He flicked his cigerette away, knowing he made a point to piss Emma off, he was just angry, and god how did he not notice how gross cigerettes really were? Back to quitting again.

Later than evening, Emma stuck a knife into KC's cake, no one even had a piece.. she looked so gloomy when Jay came in and coughed awkwardly.

"Everyone's gone." he commented.

Emma just nodded not looking at him.

"I should say sorry but it's not me who should apologise."

"Apologise?!" Emma exclaimed, giving him an insane look, "for what?!"

"Letting your ex play hero during that scene a few hours ago."

"What? Did you want to be contest winner of helping my mom up from the ground?" Emma spat.

Jay madly looked away but sighed, and went over to her, "Yeah.." he slowly admited and softly looked down at her, " I wanna be here always for you."

"It tends to get to be a lot to handle." Emma informed him, he's never been here when Spike was here, other than the night they first, well, you know.

"I've gone through it with my mom, Em. It's not embarressing to me so stop feeling bad whenever it happens." he told her.

Emma laughed bitterly, "You think I should just get use to it?" she asked, "It doesn't work like that, she just does something new and its back to square one!"

"Meet my mom"

"And" Emma stopped yelling, weren't they just fighting? "What?" she stared bluntly.

"Meet my mom." he shrugged.

Emma bit her lower lip but a smile slowly crept onto her face. Meeting Jay's mom? . ..Jay Hogarts real mother?

She let him cup her face in his hands and she held his wrists, pouting at him, "Has anyone else met your mom?" she asked.

He smirked, classic Emma, and then shook his head no.

"Not even...Alex?" Emma drifted.

Jay still shook his head no and Emma lifted an eyebrow.

"Fine." she answered and he nodded, swallowing a nervous lump in his throat. This would be interesting.

Jay's orange civic parked into a trailer lot the next night. Emma was anxious as she stayed sitting in the passanger seat.

"Em, relax babe. You're going to start smoking up." he teased.

Emma let out a breath, "I don't know how to react, not that it's a contest but is she like my mom? Worse than my mom?"

He shrugged, "She has her days of depression but she can be pretty damn hyper sometimes." he got out and gave her a look to get out too.

Emma did so.

Jay led her to the door and opened the trailer door up and stepped in. Emma rolled her eyes, she wore a little white dress, probably looked like she was too good for a trailer..dammit, should of worn jeans.

"Sweeeetttiiie." his mother was at the stove and turned, extenting her arms.

Jay just kissed her cheek and went to run away but she grabbed him hugging him, Emma softly giggled watching.

"Kay mom." grumbled Jay, shrugging her off as she caught a glimpse of Emma and then gasped.

"You're so beautiful." she went to Emma who gave Jay an alerted look, he just shrugged, shaking his head as his mother hugged her too, "Are..is this a girl friend?" she looked back at Jay

Emma went red.

Jay would of too if he wasn't being so relaxed, "Yea mom." he simply sat down at the dinner table.

His mother gasped and jumped up and down for joy, Emma raised an eyebrow, she was hyper! She was an average height woman, and she had blonde hair, looked in her forty's but was looking pretty good for her age, and Emma not knew where Jay got his eyes.

"Jaysons never brought home a girl before." she told Emma, winking at her then introduced, "I'm Darlene!"

"Emma." the blonde smiled and sat beside Jay who gave her a look.

Darlene sat across from them and clapped her hands together, "Foods not ready yet" she then squeeled, "But we can have drinks!"

"Sure." nodded Jay, giving his mother a sarcastic look, "If you haven't taken your pills today."

"You always ruin fun." grinned Darlene like a cheshire cat, he knew her too well!

He smirked back, "I am the fun."

Darlene pointed at him, looking at Emma, "He has his father's smirk.. that's where he gets it from. I bet all the girls in school fall for it."

Emma looked at Jay who avoided her eyes, so..his mom didn't know he was expelled from Degrassi and just dropped out of school?

"I'm done with school, remember?" Jay tried to remind his mom who looked blank but then waved it off.

Emma slowly saw the cracks of the woman..not so sturdy, but the woman was as caring as she could be, must of been hard on Jay when he was little though.

He probably took care of her more than she him.

She got back to her last conversation, "Did he tell you about his father?" she gushed, "Such a handsome man, so-"

"selfish and in jail?" taunted Jay, glaring at his mom to shut her up, "Change the subject."

Emma looked between them and sadder at Jay. His fathers past must of really hurt him.

"He's getting better." his mother muttered.

Jay sat up and gave his other an outraged look, "You're visting him again?" he couldn't believe this, "What'd he ask for this time? More money? Another lawyer for you to pay for again." he glanced around madly, "You can hardly afford this shithole."

Emma bit her lower lip, playing with her hands in her lap, she guessed Jay had to STILL take care of his mother? Help her keep her home..

Darlene looked upset and was shaking her head, "Your fathers a great man."

"Jesus you're blinde." growled Jay but he knew she thought this way, thought his father wasn't the loser fraud he was.

Darlene shut up when the stove dinged and got up to turn over whatever was in the oven and came back, smiling brightly as if nothing happned.

"Emma, what are your parents like?" geeze, she switched moods a lot.

Emma tried to smile back, but shrugged slowly, not knowing how to explain that..

Jay, who was still bitter from the fight with his mom, tried to answer for her, "Her step father passed away from Cancer and her real dad's in a home, he tripped on acid after Emma's brother Drew was born and hit his head forever becoming mentally ill. Acid.. you remember that stuff Uncle Chuck made? And Dad always bought him the supplies."

Darlene looked rattled.

Emma ran a hand through her hair. Gees, this was a lot to take in.

Jay went on, "And Emma's mother is a bit like you." he confirmed, Darlene smiled dashingly til Jay added, "Addicted to her medication and mostly sleeping."

Darlene bit her tounge and just looked away from him til back to Emma, "Im so happy to meet you!" she told her, "You should come over more, I never see him." she then got up like she had ants in her pants, "Fine, if I can't drink I'm going to go take another pill." she giggled, "Gotta celebrate somehow my boys inlove!" she pinked Jay's cheek and left.

Jay just bared a fake grin and rubbed his cheek to look at Emma.

Emma smirked at him, "You inlove?" she repeated his mothers words, her heart skipping.

He looked away, really smiling now and shrugged, "Depends if you make dinner tonight." he taunted.

Emma laughed but then tilted her head, "We not eating here?"

"50 bucks I bet you she took her pill, and decided to lay down, and passed out." Jay confirmed.

After somewhat 10 minutes going by, Emma had guessed he was right and stood up to go. As Emma waited for Jay to go say goodbye to his mother in her room, Emma tilted her head to peek inside.

Ofcourse he was right, he lived with this since a child, but she melted when she saw him put a blanket on his mother and kissed her goodbye before leaving some cash on her night table. He turned the stove off and then they went to go.

Emma watched him as they drove him and she couldn't be so in love with a person. Under Jay's rough appearence, he was so soft. He cared a lot, and when he cared it meant a lot because Emma guessed he had a wall built up, which made him such a bad boy..but he's been nothing but good to her.

As Emma and him laid in her bed after dinner, Emma crawled on top of him and leaned down, kissing him deeply and stradled him.

She pulled away and he smirked, out of breath, "What was that for?" he teased.

"For being you." Emma confirmed, and laid her head on his chest.

Naturally, he lifted her chin and kissed her again before he swallowed and confessed, "I love you." he searched into her eyes for any reaction, he was pretty nervous to say it.

"I love you too." she smiled brightly and he grinned, she rolled her eyes playfully, "You had me at Greenpeace."

"You had me at 'pick that up, it's called littering!' " Jay mocked her and laughed when she punched his chest.

"Emma?" came a voice that made them stop and Emma's blood run cold, Spike.

"What mom?" she yelled up the stairs. No answer. Emma sighed and got off Jay, going up the stairs.

Spike sat at the kitchen table and her eyes were down when Emma came up, she pointed at the stove though and mumbled, "Make me something?"

Emma saddened, and let today wash over her. Years from now...did she want to be doing this? Least Jay's mom wasn't so depressing, she had her good moods some days and at least remembered Jay's name and cared about him.

"What do you want?" Emma sighed, going to the fridge.


	12. Not fair

**Allison117- Thankyou for the kind reviews! I always say I'm goig write my reviewers back but always do it so late at night I forget! But I def appreciate it! Here's some good news, this weekend I'm going to try to finish ALL my fics.!**

**Guest- Thankyou! I'm a big fan of Emma too! : )**

**AllieBO524- I'm trying to update as fast as I can this time! Thankyou for noticing hhaha**

**76SouthGirl- Thanks so much for coming back to read the new chapters and enjoying it!**

**BACK TO THE STORY! ...**

"Senior year." taunted Jay laying in Emma's bed, shirtless and his backwards hat on, "Aren't you growing into a beautiful blossoming woman."

Emma gave him a look while getting ready and put her hair in a tight updo. This day HAD to be good. Her mother left in just a night so, that was something to keep in a good mood. The house was once there's again.

He smirked, then frowned deeply. How was he to bully the scumbags away that flirted with her if he didn't _go_ to school anymore?

Emma sighed, "last year! Finally."

He smiled a little and nodded, his senior year would of been last year since a year older than Emma, but you know, he didn't regret it..sure he regretted HOW he was expelled but as for not going to school, he thought his life was set.

Tony had future promises of giving Jay half the shop by the time Jay was in his twenty's.. Jay was almost 19. He was almost set for life.

Emma though..she'd go away from college.

But Jay didn't want to think about that now.

"See yeah Jay!" Drew said, getting out of the car and KC followed, waving, Jay also picked up his little girl friend today, Claire, she was alright.. they definatly had the good girl, bad boy relationship going on.. but KC was really just a softie underneath it all.

Oh jesus.. he was softening to these kids.

"Bye." Emma smiled, kissing his check and quickly got out. He watched her run over to Manny, Liberty and Darcy, sharing hugs... then that dweeby ex of hers, Peter, came over and even said hello.

"Soo.. how was your summer?" Emma asked, after letting go of Darcy and went to hug Liberty.

But Liberty turned. Emma gave a wierd look. Liberty began walking away, "I'll see you in class." she only told Manny.

Manny looked back at Emma with a sorry look and admitted, "She's not very happy with you."

"What did I do?" Emma asked, confused.

Manny shrugged and said, "She thinks you're dating the spawn of Satan." she started walking inside with Emma, Darcy behind, "I tried to explain he's different but she's not havin it. Thinks he has you under mind control.. again I tried to explain no one could mind control Emma, she's too much of a control freak herself." she teased.

Emma smirked but shook her head. Fine. If Liberty didn't want to be friends because Emma fell for a decent guy for once, a GOOD guy and someone who made her life so much more better, made her happy.. than they won't be friends.

"Welcome back to school." Mrs Kwan told everyone once first period class started and she smiled to them, "This will be the last year you hear me say this"

Everyone clapped and cheered, then laughed as she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah"

By third period, Emma sat in the back waiting for her friends to get there and put her hand up when she saw Liberty, JT and Toby.

Liberty stopped ahead of them though and grabbed JT's hand, tugging him upfront. Toby gave a sorry look, gestering to Liberty as he whirled his finger around by his head, hinting she would go crazy if he sat with Emma.

Emma frowned and spaced out as Spinner came in after the so called friends of hers did that and he shook his head, walking over

"I'll sit with ya" he joked, Emma looked over and laughed a bit, rolling her eyes but nodded

Being Jay's best friend, Emma didn't know weather to trust Spinner or not, but as she came to know him more, he was actually a pretty good influence after the whole shooting thing ofcourse.

Meanwhile, at Jacks daycare.

"Bryon, Jack, share the toy." the teacher told the little todlers.

The ginger baby boy giggled, but let Jack have it and then yelped when Jack sneezed, and sneezed again, boogers running.

"Oh no." The teacher went over and cleaned him up.

Jack started to cry and the teacher looked to her assistant, "He may be sick." she put a hand on his forehead, "Yeah he's burning up, would you call his mother?"

At Degrassi.

Emma shut the door of her locker to go to her last class to notice Liberty at her locker. Emma paused but huffed, going over.

This was just silly.

"Liberty, can we talk?" Emma asked, holding her hands together hopefully.

"Are you still with Jay Hogart?" Liberty asked, holding her locker door.

"Yes.."

"then no." Liberty slammed her door closed and walked off until Emma stepped in her way.

"Lib that's not fair!" Emma insisted, "I can't accept the fact you're so high above people judging you but you judge Jay.. don't you think I'm smart enough to know he's different?"

"I can't accept the fact you're dating Jay Hogart." she simply said.

"Liberty! You don't know him like I do!" Emma put a hand on her head, watching her old friend go.

Her next class teacher walked by and Emma shut up and tried to plaster a fake smile, "Let's start the new year right, huh Miss Nelson? No coming in late or many missed days." with that, she walked off.

Emma stood there, broading..wasn't her fault she had to take care of her mothers family. Her cell phone rang and she dug for it, picking it up.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Nelson, this is Jack's teacher from Kalar Daycare..he's feeling a bit down today and we think it'd be his best interest if you could come pick him up."

Emma's body leaned hard on the locker, looking lost. This was NOT how she imagined her first day.

"Yeah.. I'll be there." she said quietly and hung up. Yes, she played as Mrs Nelson.. not like when Spike got the calls she actually went and picked up her needful son.

Emma groaned, putting her head into her hands.

"Pick him up at Day care huh?" Jay leaned on his work counter as Emma called him in a panic, he itched the back of his head..it was stress habit.

He looked around and noticed the shop was pretty busy.

"I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate!" Emma whined into the phone, "Mrs Tingle even warned me not to be late today."

"Fuck..Mrs Tingle.." Jay rolled his eyes, remembering that old hag.

Emma took a deep breath, "Its fine, I'll... ask a friend or something to drive me."

Jay felt like shit, but there was nothing he could do, his boss wouldn't let him go just for someone elses kid, as much as he personally wanted to

"Alright, See yeah. Lov-" Jay shut up when he noticed she hung up when he said See yeah... hopefully she thought that was all he was going to say or he felt a little rejected!.. And bad. God hopefully she wasn't mad at him.

Emma dove into Jacks day care and looked around as a woman with deep red hair held him on a bench as Emma ran over.

"I'm sorry about this, I know you're in school." she said.

Emma shook her head, "No, no.. he's sick, he should go home." she insisted then looked up to bare a smile, "Thanks for everything." She went to go.

"Miss Nelson." the red head called and Emma turned slowly, confused, and the kind woman smiled, "You're doing great. I see a bunch of highschool students with kids but you're different." she insisted.

Emma laughed silently, maybe because she wasn't his real mom?

"I mean it though, you're here as soon as possible, pick him up every day, night, and he loves seeing you again." the woman said.

Emma smiled down to Jack who played with her hair and then sneezed, smile gone.

"Thanks." Emma said and meant it, as the shared a laugh then wave goodbye.

Emma rushed back out to the blue BMW...which Peter drove. She was desperate okay?! Jay COULDN'T get mad at her.

"Thanks for doing this Peter." Emma said.

He nodded as he waited for Emma to buckle in Jack, then they headed for the Doctors, then her house

The doctor hooked them up with some nice medicene! And then they were off back to her house.

"See you tomorrow!" Emma waved with Jack as she held her little brothers hand and led him to the house, Peter's car pulling out of the drive way for an orange one to pull right up. Emma turned and saw that and sighed... only 2 hours later..

Jay got out and looked when the BMW just turned to go out of sight and then to Emma, "Who was that?" he asked.

Emma swallowed hard, there will just be more trouble if you lied.

"Peter helped me get Jack." with that, she went back to helping Jack inside.

Jay stood there in disbelieve then ran after her, shutting the door behind him, "Peter Stone?" he asked calmly, but his insides were ripping apart like The Incredible Hulk.

"Yes Jay." she scoffed, letting Jack go, "It was an emergency."

"Are you punishing me because I said no?" Jay asked bluntly.

Emma turned and gave him a look like he was crazy, "Rude much? And no! I just said why, Jack was really sick, we even had to go to the Doctors."

Jay looked at Jack who stared up at them, mouth hanging and eyes wide, he then sneezed and pouted, but kept staring.

He suddenly softened. God damnit! He was becoming a softy.

"This is all your fault little man." Jay told Jack who still looked under the weather, but giggled.

Emma rolled her eyes while bending down but smile, picking Jack up again and leading him downstairs with her.

"I got here as soon as I could, Emma." Jay tried to explain.

"I'm not mad!" Emma exclaimed, going down the stairs with Jack.

Jay stopped but looked impressed, "Good." he admitted. For once they don't have to fight...though making up was always fun.

"Buuut, I'm not free to hangout tonight." she admitted.

"You are mad!" Jay insisted, feeling waved off.

Emma laughed putting Jack on her bed, "I have to focus on him tonight! And he's probably going to share the bed. What if he gets you sick?"

"If you're sharing the bed with him, you're gonna get sick, so I'll get sick either way."

Emma cringed "Yeah..so maybe it's not best to be near another this week."

Jay looked like he was shot with an arrow, his mouth dropping. A WEEK!? He didn't know if he could last that long..


	13. That's My Girl

Emma smiled while hugging the pillow she slept on, in the dark.

Her phone kept ringing until she finally picked it up, "Hello?"

"Just checking you're still alive." came Jay's voice.

Emma gave a silent giggle, "Correct me if I'm wrong but is someone having clingy issues?"

"Are you calling me clingy?" Jay's voice was serious and stern til it cracked, "Cause I am, I need to come over, _badly_, it's been 6 days."

"I do it for your own good." Emma insisted, getting up from her bed and dragging herself to her dresser, "Besides." she looked at her mirror, "I got sick." she grumbled.

She stared at her puffy eyes, her high pony tail, wrinkly clothes and stuffy nose.

"That's it, I'm coming over."

"Jay." Emma groaned, "You're just going to get sick next."

"Trust me, I use to take care of my mom who would pass out outside all the time and get sick, and I've actually never gotten sick .. maybe once in my life." Jay explained.

Emma laughed and sunk back into her bed, "You can't seduce me.. I'm in a vunerable state."

"As if I'd wana sleep with a snothead anyways."

"Hey!"

He chuckled and then hung up before adding, "See you soon."

When Jay got to the Nelson household he happily got out of his car and jumped up the steps and into the house. He then stopped.

Wow.

Kinda felt like finally being home.

"Hey Jay." Drew greeted, playing playstation with Holly J.

Yeah, even Jay thought it was wierd, and Holly J caught his look to roll her eyes and pause the game, "There's some flu going around and Anya's sick, Blue's sick, everybody is sick and I don't work.. what am I suppose to be doing?"

Jay lifted his hands as if a gun was pointed at him and just chuckled, going to Emma's room.

Emma was sitting up watching cartoons in her bed as Jay jogged down her steps and she smiled hearing him, cornering her eyes.

He stopped at the bottom of the stairs as they connected eyes and his mouth fell, "Wrong house, sorry." he went to run upstairs.

Emma laughed but coughed a little and playfully glared as he came back and flew himself on the bed beside her, lying on his back.

Emma looked down at him as she sat up and shook her head, "You're one of a kind."

"How could you replace me?" he asked, watching the cartoon until looking up at her and smirking.

She snickered and looked back at the tv herself til he laid up on his elbows and then grabbed her down with him to lay in his arms. When she snuggled beside him, she felt it, he _really _loved her as much as she loved him, and she sank into his arms even more as he held tighter.

To know she got Jay Hogart whipped, was pretty fun knowing!

An hour went by and as Jay rested his chin upon her head and soothed his hand on her arm, he asked, "Want some soup?"

Emma grinned up, "_You're _going to cook?"

"Has being sick warped your mind? I'm the cook in this house." Jay reminded.

Emma's mouth shaped in a 'o' as he got up and went to go make her some soup.

Finally a few days passed and Emma was good as new. As she got ready for school she entered the kitchen to even see Jay helping KC at the dinner table with his homework.

"You want to fail highschool KC, or pass?" taunted Emma, going to the kettle to make some tea. Hey! She had to be careful

Jay smirked up at her ad shrugged to KC, "What Greenpeace doesn't know is I am actually smart, I just never attended class."

The front door knocked and Emma gave a look but went to go get it, opening it to a blonde girl.

"Hi there." the girl beamed, she was a average height for a teen, tanned, and her blonde hair was more golden yellow.

"Hi.." Emma drifted, confused. Was she here for Drew?

"I'm Jenna." the girl introduced, "KC's friend.." she drifted, her eyes sparkling a bit.

Emma gave an odd look back into the house..another girl? What happened to Claire? Did Claire know about Jenna.

"Hold on." Emma tried to smile to Jenna and turned to walk into the house back into the kitchen, "Uh, Jennas here?"

KC was so stunned he even dropped the pencil he was writing with.

Jay looked confused.

KC then stood up quick and shoved his books into his bags, "Ok, see you later." he went to run passed Emma who grabbed the back of his backpack and turned him

"Whose Jenna?" she asked.

"A friend." he shrugged, "new girl at school."

"Where's Claire? Jay usually drives us and her.." Emma drifted, hinting he should know that.

He scratched the back of his neck, "I told her to catch a ride from her mom today." with that, he turned, and fled.

Emma looked pretty bothered.

Jay stood up and asked, "What's wrong?"

"That's alittle fishie, no?" Emma asked Jay who shrugged slowly.

"He's a boy."

"Who said he really liked Claire.. so why is he going to wreck that and not even tell Claire?" Emma asked Jay.

"Maybe they ARE just walking to school?" Jay taunted.

Emma snickered, "Don't be stupid." she rolled her eyes, "Goes out of his way to tell his girl friend to get a ride well he walks with the new girl? You guys think we're that dumb?"

"Maybe you're judging KC on your past issues." Jay confirmed, walking around her and sighing.

Emma's mouth fell and she glared a bit, "I bet you any money KC doesn't have good intentions with that girl."

"Maybe you should believe in your brother more."

"Like I should of believed in _you_ more, years ago?" Emma raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms.

Jay clenched his jaw, blood boiling a bit, "Let's just get you to school."

"Don't worry about it, I'll walk, and ask Peter if he wants to too.. It's innocent though I swear." Emma rolled her eyes, grabbing her school bag and left.

Thankfully it was Manny's day to take Baby Jack to day care.

Jay stood back, hands on his hips. Well christ!

And just as Emma figured, later that day at school they were having a class car wash, and Claire was jealously watching Jenna flirt with KC, and KC actually flirting back.

What did she do? What'd she say to make him want to hurt her like that?

"What's eatin' you?" Manny asked Emma, sitting down at a booth at the dot for lunch time.

Emma scoffed, shaking her head, "Me and Jay got in a fight."

"why?"

"Cause of KC and Claire." Emma mumbled.

Manny tilted her head confused, "I don't get it.." she drifted.

Emma scoffed, "Jay thinks it's my past issues blaming KC and insisting he's going to hurt Claire, because I saw the way this new girl Jenna looked when she came to the house for him this morning."

"Ouuuu, KC has a new girl friend? Quite the stud he's turning out to be." joked Manny to then shake her head, "Wait, he's dating Claire."

"I know! He told her to get a drive this morning just so he could walk with this girl." Emma explained.

"That is fishy...what's it have to do with you and Jay though?" Manny asked.

"He thinks its my past, like I'm standing up for Claire for an issue that's not really there when I know it is!" Emma excplained.

Manny took a deep breath after a moment of thinking, "Ok, let's slow down." she told Emma, "Let's say KC really did break Claire's heart.. are you putting yourself in her shoes?"

"Ofcourse! I know what it feels like!" Emma exclaimed, god why was this so confusing!?

"But." Manny said, "If you're wrong, and KC really is just friends with this girl, are you willing to admit that maybe, he just reminds you of Sean?"

Emma's shoulders dropped and she looked away to then shrug, "It's no secret he reminds me of Sean. Broody, bad boy type, bad with anger..bottles things up. But KC's smart, really smart." they both giggled a bit.

"Can't believe you just called Sean dumb." Manny laughed and Emma shook her head smiling.

Maybe she knew what she had to do before KC made a big mistake.

After school, Emma walked into Tony's Auto shop to see both Jay and Sean spray painting a car, Tony who sat at the counter and noticed her first.

"Sean! Your girls here!" Tony called.

Oh, how freakin embarressing.

"Or Jay's girl..." Tony drifted, eyeing between the three as the boys looked up and awkwardly coughed, "The hot blonde is here." he just decided to go with.

Emma rolled her eyes going to Jay first who was just kept working as she leaned on the car and gave him a look.

"Are you gonna talk to me?" she taunted.

Sean snickered a bit, still working as well and shook his head at the two. Most interesting relationship he's ever laid eyes on. They were both so stubborn.

"Depends." Jay shot back bitterly, but cornered his eyes at her, "Just **whose** girl are you?"

Emma cracked a smile, looking up, "Yours, butt head." she told him as he stopped working and stood up straight.

He leaned down and pecked her on the lips, running his fingers through her head, "that's right, Bevis."

"But I am here for Sean.." Emma admitted, glancing at the guy who raised an eyebrow, curious.

Jay rolled his eyes, "What a twist!" he insisted but held Sean's air brush when the guy passed it to him and walked out front with Emma, "Yeah! You go! With..my girl friend. See you guys later." he muttered, watching them til out of site and turned to see Tony giving him a look, "What?" he hissed

"You got jealous issues." he declared.

"And you got memory issues." taunted Jay back, mocking him, "Sean's girl, no Jay's girl, no Sean's." he gave him a look and Tony just chuckled, eating his pizza.

Meanwhile, outside.

Emma kicked a stone at her feet, "Remember when KC was.. acting out a lot?"

"When doesn't he?" Sean joked.

"I was wondering if you could still kinda talk to him.."

Sean looked stunned.

"He's just really messing up a good girl's head, and I don't want him to-"

"I'll talk to him" Sean cut her off.

Emma looked stunned this time, "You will? Cause last time we fought about it.."

He nodded, "I know what it's like to break the wrong girls heart." he shrugged and Emma smiled sadly, "And to feel lonely, to add more anger to myself when it wasn't needed just because no one paid attention to me."

"I tried to talk to him!"

"You need to ask it in a different way, us sensitive guys take it personally." Sean playfully explained.

Emma nodded, "That's why I thought I'd ask you."

"When we got into a fight, I didn't mean what I said.." Sean confirmed, "I was mad. I still care about your family though Em. I'll keep watching over KC." he promised.

Emma smiled and leaned in, hugging him and he hugged back nodding.

When Emma walked back into the shop, Jay was sitting on the office desk eating pizza with Tony.

"How'd the date go?" he taunted as Emma walked up to him.

"We had sex." she bluntly confirmed, simply putting her hands onto his shoulders like it was no big deal.

Jay shook his head slowly at her, staring into her eyes, "I'll kill you one day."

Emma just giggled and kissed his cheek until she yelped and laughed, screaming when he tickled her sides


End file.
